She would never DO that, right? Well, she at least would be smarter than Paris and not have someone filming her do that. I mean, it was the 1950's and all, it's not like a lot of digital video recording cell phones were around. Which means that something the size of a cinder block must have been used in order to capture the 15-minute reel of footage that was recently sold to a New York businessman for $1.5 mil.
According to sources, the reel is real and it contains the image of an unidentified man receiving the oral services of our beloved Marilyn Monroe. Somehow, perhaps because I'm naive and wasn't alive during those days, I didn't fancy her for a chick that was particularly sex-tape hungry. She married the men that she thought she was in love with. She just wanted to be a housewife at one point to Joe DiMaggio.
The chances of this hitting the internet at some point (if this is indeed true and the identity of the woman in the video really and truly is Marilyn Monroe) is probably pretty high, and the results are going to be catastrophic. I imagine servers crashing all over the world as people try and tune in and watch sweet little Norma Jean play the skin flute. Somehow though... I'm a little depressed over it. Don't ask why. I'm just kinda disappointed. It's like finding out that your grandma did that to your grandpa. Which is just plain wrong.