Dearest Megan Fox
, as it has been brought to my attention by the most up-to-date website postings, you were recently a presenter at the VH1 Do Something Awards. While you managed to come out looking fuller figured (marriage suiting you just nicely?) than you had previously been boning out with, and looking quite pretty like you did in the good old days before the fanboy world started to get bored with you, I have to giggle that you were acknowledging the young people of our nation who have gotten off their asses and done something of great impact to society in general. While it was fabulous that you put on your sex face and bared your tummy for the first TRANSFORMERS movie, that was so 2007. And even though I love me some Mickey Rourke and he's in your corner when it comes to your together, PASSION PLAY, I have to say that I hope you had a good long talk with some of those young people at the ceremony that night. Hell, they might be able to turn your career in the right direction, considering all the other brain trust stuff they came up with.
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