A long time ago, I walked out of my room wearing a striped shirt with the stripes going sideways. I walked by my mother's room and said, "Why, hello, there!" She looked over at me and saw me in my shirt before yelling like she saw a rat. After vomiting and kicking me in the face, she called me a f*cking fatass and said, "Horizontal stipes are not made for you!" I didn't know what horizontal meant back then, so I just went on about my day in ignorant happiness. It's something that I don't really like to talk about today after figuring everyting out, but it made me into the man I am today (a blogger). I don't think people like Minka Kelly ever had to worry about that, though. Here we can see her walking around town looking absoutely gorgeous with the horizontal lines not only making her body look super rad, but also enhancing all her curves. It looks like she's been shopping for some furniture (which is one of the most fun things in the world) in shapes that look like me. Now all I gotta do is photoshop a picture of my head on that cushion and my life will be complete.
Click on each photo to enlarge!