As I was attempting to rouse myself back into consciousness and maneuver my way through the bedroom door this morning (which is a tricky thing to do some mornings) I heard the sound of my favorite Australian supermodel, Miranda Kerr, on the kitchen TV. Temporarily distracted from my need to address the consequences of the previous night's revelry, I stopped for a moment to lend her an ear. Apparently the entire crux of her appearance was to discuss beauty tips, most of which were entirely meaningless to me, being a big, dumb, brute of a guy with the $12 hair cut, wearing the same ripped band shirt and ancient boxers I'd been wearing all of the previous day. The thing that struck me as I watched her there in her tight little number is that it's almost impossible to think of this woman as a 30-year-old wife and mother. She looks about 16 in these pics, just as tight and lean as she ever has. Clearly I'm just not living life correctly, because I've only got a handful of years on her, yet we're practically from opposite dimensions as far as longevity goes. Maybe I shouldn't ingest an entire DiGiorno pizza and a the better part of a 12-pack amidst an all night DIE HARD/LETHAL WEAPON retrospective. Yeah, that's probably not the best strategy for staying young.
Click on each photo to enlarge!