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May. 18, 2008by: Cherry Liquor

Dammit, California. I was so happy when you decided to overturn the decision on gay marriages and make them legal that I forgot you let so many others pass through without blinking your eyes. That's right, folks. We not only marry gays in Cali, we let the dumb and the dumber breed. Even though I'm a fan of Ashlee Simpson's new music and even though she and Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz are the most adorable short couple, I still think it's bogus that they actually got married.

Why? Because we're looking at a "Newlyweds, Part Deux" on our hands. The couple was married on the family estate, you know... the one Joe Simpson bought while riding his prized ponies all the way to the bank, this last Saturday. They couldn't even rent an island resort for the weekend and do it Mariah-style. It disgusts me that while both Jessica and Ashlee have spoken out about the tight rein that their father has on them, that they continue to heed his word and be under his thumb.

Tony Romo, despite rumours that he broke up with sister Jessica, did escort her to the wedding. The word going around about their break-up is that Romo tired of listening to Joe give him unsolicited advice on how to handle his career and endorsements. I wonder what Pete has had to say when Joe speaks. Then again, considering that Pete's pecker is widely available for viewing on the internet, maybe Joe is actually intimidated by him. Who knows. But according to OK magazine, the new bride also confirmed her pregnancy to those in attendance, so the Spawning of a new generation of Simpsons to Exploit might be keeping Joe occupied as well.

Extra Tidbit: Ashlee has the same birthday as Gwen Stefani.

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