So, in New York over this past week, there have been shows, benefits, charities and chances for all levels of celebrities to get their share of time in the spotlight. I don't want to have to go back through and figure out which actress/singer/girlfriend-or-spouse of a bigger male celebrity/model/Victoria's Secret Model (they get their own distinction) or former whatever was at which event. I'll just do my version of dissecting the women here and the outfits they were pictured in and my own personal and probably very skewed idea of fashion. So, in order, here goes:
Adriana Lima in a blue dress which perfectly complements every aspect of her perfection. Arms and neck exposed in a strapless blue gown which also emphasizes her bustline, longer skirt to remind people that she's super sexy - a super sexy mother of two daughters (can you IMAGINE what those girls are going to look like in 18 or less years??) - and draw attention to the dress as a whole by using all of the feature of Adriana which make the dress look flawless.
Adrienne Bailon sure has a pretty face. It's lovely, proportioned particularly well and yet the woman seems to constantly fail on fashion levels. She's short, so the length of the skirt makes her look even dumpier - like Edie McClurg in any role she's ever had. Bailon also has an amazing set of boobies, which are bordering into the Christina Hendricks' category of cover them up except for the line of cleavage that will look like an ass on your chest. Bailon seems confused about how to make herself look couture. Maybe she should enlist a younger fashion consultant to help with the more upscale events? You're not a light switch where one flip is skanky and the other is dowdy. MELD, Adri!
Brittany Snow, one of my favorite girls in so many ways. She can sing. She can act (and anyone who knows how to carry comedic effect by playing the dumb blonde knows that that's WAY harder than playing the nice girl lead character). She can carry herself like a lady but still look youthful. The pattern of the dress, while a throwback to "I Love Lucy" days in its cut, was made out of the coolest material, dotted with the suits from a deck of cards. The hair matches the look and Brittany is one of the few who paid attention to wearing interesting looking shoes to go with the ensemble. Bravo!
Camila Alves is that lady who keeps popping out babies that she makes with Matthew McShirtless and I suppose the actor's recent diet he took on to star in DALLAS BUYERS CLUB (do you hear him shouting "This shit better finally get me an Oscar, bitches!!" from his VW van parked aimlessly on some beach somewhere?) where he dropped down into Kevin Bacon manorexic levels, because I've never seen this woman look so BLAH before. Even when she was fully engorged in pregnancy, Camila could be found walking on the sands, skin golden, smile bright, belly big but somehow fashionable anyway. This dress does her no favors. Matt needs to hire the woman a nanny.
Candice Swanepoel, another top Victoria's Secret lingerie wearer showed up at the same event as Adriana Lima (please don't ask me to go look it up because does it really matter?) but with a completely different perspective. The model who has repeatedly been accused by women's advocacy rights groups as being "too thin" for the label to use lest it create body image disorders in young girls, decided that the all-in-white, innocent angel look was her best angle. The dress is simple but elegant and expertly tailored. Candice's hair is pulled back WAY TOO TIGHT, but she still is irrefutably gorgeous.
Christina Hendricks is getting to be a pain in my ass. I don't like to read nasty commentary about her being "fat" because I just think she's thick. I don't like hearing about her being ugly... because she's fat. It's so boring to read that crap over and over again. But at the same time, for f*ck's sake, Christina, you're not making it any easier! There were a couple of shows I could have featured images from and sadly, this poorly tailored, poorly constructed, cheap-looking pantsuit is just horrible. And I thought it was better than the other options I had! There's a minor attempt at using color patterns to even her out and her hair and make-up are working well. Shit... if this is Fashion Week, you gotta try to be fashionable and not just rely on your minor acting success to gain you free access to these shows. Do your part! I understand dresses can be a bitch to wear when they're fitted and tight and I understand wanting comfort, but this is NOT the place for it.
Daisy Fuentes is suddenly showing up again and it's a welcomed return to the limelight. I liked Daisy 20 years ago, her honkin' huge ovaries to play with the men on MTV like a smart woman with the skill to set chauvinism in its place and her ability to mention that she was (and still is) a proud Latina without making that her entire identity. She looks so straight up sexy hot in this simple top and pants, eye-catching earrings, simply make-up and hair. She looks like that mom you guys when you were teens knew had it "going on." And bitch does it FLAW-LESS-LY. Definitely one of my favorite looks this year. (Chrissy Hen - look! Comfort AND style!)
Emily Ratajkowski is a model. Just so I can state the obvious. You should Google her nude images, so I can continue to be obvious. She has a jaw-dropping, exotic look which is amplified by the panels and sheer portions of her top which is missing a bra underneath. (Thank you, thank you, thank you.) While she might have the look in her eye which lets you know that she's no deeper than a 15-minute rain shower puddle drying in the sun, at least it's an honest look.
Emmy Rossum - just a head's up, I'm in the middle of watching the second season of "Shameless" in which I have fallen in love with Emmy's character, Fiona Gallagher. It's hard for me to find any fault with her whatsoever in my saturated "She's a saint" character and my belief that she might very well be THE most unsung quality actresses in her age demographic that I've witnessed in years. So of course her showing up in that immaculate fashionista "yearbook photographer" outfit is enough to make me want to hug her. I would totally hug her. She needs a world of hugs.
Jessica Biel was another one of my top favorites in terms of what she was wearing while breezing between shows, trying to keep her paparazzi explosion to a low fall-out. The dress is beyond awesome, fitting her perfectly and looking cool and young and chic (FOR THE RECORD: "chick" is when you refer to a lady/girl/woman. Youse who write "chic" are either referring to the 1970's band or calling that woman/girl/lady a "stylish" or "smart" looking broad. ENGLISH, M*THAF*KER, CAN YOU LEARN IT??) but it's the smile on Biel's face that reveals she's in a great mood, is happy at the point in her life when her picture was getting snapped and overall glows with a beauty that can't be bought, manufactured or augmented.
Kate Mara, from all of the events I've seen her at and all of the red carpets she's walked or fashion shows that she's gone to, seems like a fragile, insecure woman. It's got to be one of the reasons why she rarely smiles when having her pictures taken at these events. It's also why, as much as I love her and even as well as the dress highlights her fantastic body, bright pink is something that her personality cannot pull off. Sorry Kate.
You are not going to be able to get me to hate on Rose McGowan at any time, no matter what. She's the role model for my DOOM GENERATION. She can look soft and happy, sweet and light, bitchy and moody, angry and scary, and it's all her. Rose comes off as one of the most sincere-to-herself people I feature on this site. Her dress here makes me think of BARBARELLA and the looks on her face just make me wish I was her. Actually, I've been wishing that since about 1995. I've always wondered if the feeling was going to wear off at some point.
Stacy Keibler is giving me a younger Natasha Henstridge vibe. I like the dress, it's fashion forward and futuristic in a non-obnoxious way. Keibler has a great looking face that doesn't always get the focus that her ridiculously fit body gets and that's a shame, as with her hair slicked back here, you can see just how glittering her eyes are and what perfectly symmetrical features she has. Too bad she needed George Clooney to pump her name up higher on the household list.
Uma Thurman looks like the 43-year old mother of three that she is. She looks whip-smart, alight and alive. While she's not a young doll of a dame anymore, the fact that she got into her late 30's and appears to have said, "F*ck it, I'll just be a badass instead" is so incredibly hot.
Those are my thoughts. What are yours?
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