If there's one thing Oliver Stone and I can agree on, it's that Salma Hayek has an awesome rack. Only difference is, he shows his appreciation by turning into Mr. Grabbyhands, where as I show my love by writing about them week after week. Salma's gelatinous globes could feed a village, which is why someone had a stroke of genius and finally got her to appear in a "Got Milk" advertisement. I would've taken this opportunity in a much different direction, although she is technically holding a pair of jugs. Let's just say I would've been the one sporting the milk mustache. America's milk processors should seriously consider hiring Salma as their spokes model, traveling the country, explaining the importance of dairy, and ending on the slogan "Protein makes perfect". What a coincidence, I was about to go make some protein right now. It does a body good.
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