No, what I care about when I read that Diamond is gearing up to write (well, with the help of someone who can actually write) a sordid tell-all about his years on the popular '90's teen comedy "Saved by the Bell" is that he better have some sections in it that talk about how damn f*cking hot Kelly Kapowski (Tiffani "I No Longer Use the Amber" Thiessen) was. I wanna hear about how she and Elizabeth Berkley used to make out between scenes. I might even be interested to hear some gay stories about A.C. Slater (face it, you know no normal heterosexual man looks as tight in the abs as Mario Lopez does).
Basically, Dustin? You better do this up good. I wanna hear all the dirty, scuzzy details. None of that fake Greg Brady lame tell-all shit.