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Sexy TwitPics: Lindsay Lohan

Apr. 1, 2014by: Salacious Crumb

Warning: this article contains photos of Lindsay Lohan. We strongly advise anyone with a pregnancy or heart condition to close this page. Most of you have probably already jumped to the assumption that this is some kind of an April Fool's prank, and you'd be right… sort of. Truth be told, I've been wanting to feature Lindsay in this column for months, but the timing never felt right. But I figured since it's April Fool's Day, everyone is already emotionally prepared for disappointment, so what better time than now to look at pictures of Lindsay Lohan?

Truth be told, I was rather surprised by Lohan's TwitPics, and not just because of how open she seems to be about her wild lifestyle (or at least she was up until the last year). I was also surprised by the fact that some of her photos actually make her look somewhat attractive. Yeah, I said it, so what? Lindsay Lohan became so easy to be repulsed by so fast that I think we forgot she actually used to be kind of hot. Sure, her looks have undergone quite the transformation over the years, and she's been in trouble with the law from time to time. But there's more to Lindsay than a habit for publicizing her belligerent intoxication...

Okay, so she's obviously pretty f*cked up in those two pics. Bad example. Still, it's not like she's a fall-down drunk whose mind can't even conceive the difference between the ground and two comfortable reclining chairs...

Oh...

Despite my inability to make a valid argument, I strongly urge you schmoes to give Lindsay's personal image gallery a chance. At the very least, it's an interesting look at the life of a celebrity who's recognized by the media as trash. Hollywood gets a kick out of flashing the filth under the nails of famous people who are going through a rough patch, and that's the fact of it. Yeah, Lindsay did some things she probably shouldn't have, but she's not the only one on the planet to behave like a young, dumb person when they were, in fact, young and dumb. Are we supposed to brand her with a scarlett letter for the rest of eternity for decisions she made in her early twenties? Of course not. We save that sort of cruel treatment for people like Kristen Stewart.

So if you have a sudden change of heart, or just so happen to be Lindsay's #1 dedicated fan, you can start stalking her on Twitter here, or on Instagram here.

Click on each photo to enlarge!

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10:47PM on 04/03/2014

I really feel sorry for her

She's obviously completely wasted in 99% of these shots (heh-heh, shots) and it's not a pretty sight. Shall we condemn her for actions she's done in her early twenties? Well, she's managed to completely trash her career as an actress, and is in debt up to her eyeballs. She's so far down that her presence in a movie is considered an insurance risk.

Kristen Stewart is still working steadily even if her star has eclipsed since TWILIGHT: she has 8 upcoming movies, including SNOW WHITE AND THE
She's obviously completely wasted in 99% of these shots (heh-heh, shots) and it's not a pretty sight. Shall we condemn her for actions she's done in her early twenties? Well, she's managed to completely trash her career as an actress, and is in debt up to her eyeballs. She's so far down that her presence in a movie is considered an insurance risk.

Kristen Stewart is still working steadily even if her star has eclipsed since TWILIGHT: she has 8 upcoming movies, including SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN 2. Lindsay Lohan only has an upcoming appearance on Two Broke Girls and something called INCONCEIVABLE. The only thing she's going to be noticed for is (a) if she has a fatal overdose or (b) finds God. Right now, my money's on (a).
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11:51PM on 04/05/2014
My money's on (a) too. I think she secretly wants that kind of legacy. But (b) is her ONLY ANSWER. I know it was mine.
My money's on (a) too. I think she secretly wants that kind of legacy. But (b) is her ONLY ANSWER. I know it was mine.
8:12PM on 04/03/2014
Lindsay is only 3 years older than Hayden Panettiere, but I wouldn't have guessed it looking at the picture with the two of them. It's amazing what drugs can do.
Lindsay is only 3 years older than Hayden Panettiere, but I wouldn't have guessed it looking at the picture with the two of them. It's amazing what drugs can do.
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2:10PM on 04/02/2014
She needs to start doing porn before she gets too old.
She needs to start doing porn before she gets too old.
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2:59AM on 04/02/2014
the younger mean girls lindsay yes the older worn out train wreck nope
the younger mean girls lindsay yes the older worn out train wreck nope
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7:53PM on 04/01/2014

I get that it's April Fools, but...

For the most part she's a complete waste, but that pic on the rooftop (with the orange beach towels) shows some promise.
For the most part she's a complete waste, but that pic on the rooftop (with the orange beach towels) shows some promise.
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6:34PM on 04/01/2014
If only it were the original 3 plastics (especially Rachel) instead of 40 year old trapped in 27 year old Lohan. Life's not fair.
If only it were the original 3 plastics (especially Rachel) instead of 40 year old trapped in 27 year old Lohan. Life's not fair.
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+1
2:39PM on 04/01/2014
I honestly feel sorry for the girl, having such scummy parents
I honestly feel sorry for the girl, having such scummy parents
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2:25PM on 04/01/2014
A more fun April Fools' Day article would've been one announcing Alexandra Daddario is a bisexual.
A more fun April Fools' Day article would've been one announcing Alexandra Daddario is a bisexual.
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1:15PM on 04/01/2014

Why?!?!?!?!?! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

If posting these pictures of her is some type of April Fools joke, then it's the cruelest April Fools joke EVER!
If posting these pictures of her is some type of April Fools joke, then it's the cruelest April Fools joke EVER!
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12:28PM on 04/01/2014
Strangely enough, I came across with a rerun of The Parent Trap starring Lindsay Lohan on cable couple of nights ago. Look how far she's come. Sigh.
Strangely enough, I came across with a rerun of The Parent Trap starring Lindsay Lohan on cable couple of nights ago. Look how far she's come. Sigh.
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12:07PM on 04/01/2014
I don't think she's completely past redemption. Just not sure how much she actually wants redemption.
I don't think she's completely past redemption. Just not sure how much she actually wants redemption.
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11:49AM on 04/01/2014
I still would.
I still would.
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