Colombian hottie Sofia Vergara ran into a somewhat awkward moment the other day on the set of her show, when she forgot about the hazards of eating certain foods within sight of other people - particularly people with cameras pointed at you. Ladies, let me enlighten you on a subject you might not be aware of - there's never a good time for you to eat a banana in public. Not if you want to maintain your demureness anyway. You simply cannot avoid the mental associations such foods make with the act of fellatio. Putting any phallic-looking object in or near your mouth will always put people, particularly guy people, immediately into personification mode, where we assume the identity of your offending fruit. Doesn't matter that it's food. Doesn't matter that you're actually chewing it up and swallowing it. It's how our twisted brains work. And don't ever try to take too much banana at once. That takes the moment from a mildly dirty event, to an impressive skills demonstration in about as long as it takes for your cheeks to bulge out with the content of imagined phallic girth. We are depraved little monkeys, aren't we ladies?
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