I'm not clear on who all these guys are getting close to Sofia Vergara at the Bellagio New Years celebration the other night. I'm pretty sure one of them is the guy who played the exchange student from That 70s show who gets all the tail. Another one seems to be like Andy Rooney's younger clone. Whoever they are, I hate them for getting as close to Sofia's impressive bewbage as they did. That's especially true since my new year's celebration consisted of falling asleep on the couch around 11:30 and waking up 2 hours later wondering if I missed the ball drop. So yeah, basically about as far from partying in high roller casinos with hot, big-tittied celebs as can be. You're wishing you were me now, aren't you?