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Star Whores: Attack of the Cleavage

Sep. 24, 2012by: Salacious Crumb

If you think that title is cheesy and immature, you obviously don't read my columns very often (and you haven't seen ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO). Before I continue, I just want to make it clear that I meant "whores" in a good way, not derogatory. And that justifies that. Moving on, the 64th annual Emmy Awards were on yesterday, and man was it a great day for low-cut dresses. The question every actress gets knocked over the head with is "who are you wearing?". I'll tell you who I'd like to be wearing: Kat Dennings and Christina Hendricks. These two admirable bosom buddies really pudged out of their dresses, Dennings in red, Hendricks in white, and both wearing ruby red lipstick as icing on the cake. A very stacked cake I might add. Christina has a consistent record of dropping jaws on the red carpet at the Emmys each year, and Kat is following her example rather nicely. Look at these two and tell me they don't look like they're cut from the same cloth. 

Speaking of cutting cloth, their designers probably worked all month long creating a dress that pertains to these ladies' measurements. I guess they figure if they don't wind up with a statue, they can at least show off their Golden Globes. Everyone on the red carpet was a winner that day, for getting the opportunity to lay eyes on these beautiful creatures in person. And now we're treated to some perky images that I'm sure Oliver Stone is really going to enjoy. Dive on in, folks!

Click on each photo to enlarge!

Extra Tidbit: Which one of these ladies would you rather have a water-balloon fight with?
Source: Superior Pics

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1:24PM on 09/27/2012

Biddity-bidddity-bidity AAAAOOOGAH! FLAP! FLAP! FLAP!

Kat Dennings, man...Dem boobies! I'd love to tip that broke girl...with my penis.
Kat Dennings, man...Dem boobies! I'd love to tip that broke girl...with my penis.
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10:54PM on 09/24/2012

Humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-humun
a-humuna . . .

To Christina and Kat: To quote Jace Everett, "I wanna do bad things with you."
To Christina and Kat: To quote Jace Everett, "I wanna do bad things with you."
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-21
7:51PM on 09/24/2012
These are two of the most overrated women. I don't find either of them attractive in the slighest
These are two of the most overrated women. I don't find either of them attractive in the slighest
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7:45PM on 09/24/2012
Christina Hendricks makes January Jones look flat. January Jones is not flat, not even a little bit. How big are those things?
Christina Hendricks makes January Jones look flat. January Jones is not flat, not even a little bit. How big are those things?
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-16
5:24PM on 09/24/2012

my god

christina is such a fat ass. she has plenty of time and $$ to work on her image
christina is such a fat ass. she has plenty of time and $$ to work on her image
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2:46PM on 09/24/2012

Whoa

Hey Kat, you said in Thor you totally know CPR, and I need some because you take my breath away...
Hey Kat, you said in Thor you totally know CPR, and I need some because you take my breath away...
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+1
2:08PM on 09/24/2012
Going to the Emmys this year would be like dying and going to booby heaven.
Going to the Emmys this year would be like dying and going to booby heaven.
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12:39PM on 09/24/2012
Smother me ladies.
Smother me ladies.
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12:09PM on 09/24/2012
Two amazing racks
Two amazing racks
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12:09PM on 09/24/2012
Damn.

But still.... in Hendricks' case, I always wanna add "Girl, we know they're huge, you don't need to push 'em up, that just looks ridiculous".
Damn.

But still.... in Hendricks' case, I always wanna add "Girl, we know they're huge, you don't need to push 'em up, that just looks ridiculous".
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