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STFU Sparks

09.08.2008by: Cherry Liquor

Apparently, somewhere during the time that I stopped giving a shit about "American Idol," this big bitch won. Her name is Jordan Sparks and I've heard a few songs of hers on the radio and had one of those non-response responses to them. But I have to laugh my ass off at the bitch not being able to take a joke.

At the VMAs last night (not that I watched that shit, since the channel hasn't been dedicated to music since I wasn't legal to buy cigarettes), host Russell Brand, known for his bawdy sense of humour (stealing Kristen Bell's thunder in every scene they were in together in FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL) made fun of the Jonas Walking Vagina Brothers (the youngest one supposedly gave Miley Cyrus her first boink, but whatever) for wearing "promise rings," something that the slutty children of delusional parents do, claiming their virginity is being saved for marriage (and yet usually using the "anal and oral don't count" loopholes).

Enter Sparksy, who came out to say that the rings were no joke because there were some people who didn't want to live their lives as sluts. Ahem. I do believe that Sienna Miller would tend to disagree, as would most of the men living within a 50 mile radius of her vagina. Sex does not instantly equal being a slut. And wearing a ring DON'T MEAN SHIT. Get the f*ck over it, girlie.

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12:28PM on 09/09/2008
ANNNNNNNNNNND now, at starting Line Backer for the Kookamunga Cock Blockers...
ANNNNNNNNNNND now, at starting Line Backer for the Kookamunga Cock Blockers...
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12:14PM on 09/09/2008
unfortunately my wife isnt a part of that generation.
unfortunately my wife isnt a part of that generation.
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8:36PM on 09/08/2008
She's a wildabeast.
She's a wildabeast.
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8:00PM on 09/08/2008

AMEN!

Although that I will say a generation of females who have learned to embrace anal sex are likely to make their future husbands very happy.
Although that I will say a generation of females who have learned to embrace anal sex are likely to make their future husbands very happy.
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