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TGIFs: Top 8 Hotties On Boats

Mar. 28, 2014by: Salacious Crumb

After celebrating gifs of hotties on airplanes, and then following that up with gifs of hotties and cars, it only makes sense that we top off this trilogy of motor transportation with hotties on boats! Although, to be honest, this idea is actually inspired by the release of Darren Aronofsky's NOAH, which has a boat in it, so there you go. I never read the original story by Dr. Seuss, but I assume Aronofsky's version is vastly different. Either way, NOAH gives us movie lovers a legit excuse to ogle some gifs of babes on boats (I would've named this feature "Boats 'N Hoes", but some company named Prestige Worldwide holds the rights). So sit back and have fun, but try not to go overboard...

#8: Cameron Diaz (CHARLIE'S ANGELS)

I've featured a lot of gifs from CHARLIE'S ANGELS (2000), so I figured I'd just get this one right out of the way, in case you're sick of 'em. Not that there's anything wrong with a 27-year-old Cameron Diaz in a sparkly bikini top, of course. 

#7: Jaime Pressly (D.O.A)

Speaking of movies about groups of sexy secret agents who defy the laws of physics and gravity, here's the dripping wet Jaime Pressly from D.O.A. It's moments like these where I truly understand the definition of patriotism. Noah's response when Pressly climbed aboard his ark in this bikini: "A.O.K.!"

#6: Sophie Monk (THE LEGEND OF AWESOMEST MAXIMUS)

This isn't the first gif I've posted of Sophie Monk from the utter stupidity that is NATIONAL LAMPOON'S THE LEGEND OF AWESOMEST MAXIMUS, and quite honestly, it probably won't be the last. Yeah, the effects look like shit, and you can hardly tell she's supposed to be on a boat, but screw it. At least a boat is involved, and more importantly, Sophie's left breast is out, and that's all that should matter at this point.

#5: Alexis Dziena (FOOL'S GOLD)

I don't believe I've ever seen the majority of FOOL'S GOLD, though I should; clearly, it features Matthew McConaughey in his prime. However, I did somehow remember this shot of Alexis Dziena dodging a fallen sword, which lands right between her legs. Talk about a close shave... Too much? Sorry.

#4: Victoria Silvstedt (BOAT TRIP)

When you're on a week-long cruise, it's important to remember to stretch every once in a while, and keep your body busy with a little exercise. That's what Victoria Silvstedt and friends are demonstrating in these gifs from BOAT TRIP, starting out with some breast strokes. I don't know what the second workout is supposed to be, but consider me a fan of that one, too!

#3: Vida Guerra (DORM DAZE 2)

Why do pirates spend their lives sailing the open sea? To search for booty, of course! So if you have Vida Guerra on board, you might as well call yourself Captain Phillips. You may not be able to tell Vida's on a boat in this gif from DORM DAZE 2, but trust me, she is. Even if she wasn't, I'm fairly certain no one would care. Please ignore the fact that that dude looks like a mixture of Mork and an elf, and just pretend that's your left leg Vida's straddling.

#2: Ashley Scott (INTO THE BLUE)

Before having seen this gif, I'm sure most of you would've expected me to use one of the many great gif-able moments from Jessica Alba from INTO THE BLUE. Don't get me wrong, Jessica's clearly the jewel of the film, but this shot of co-star Ashley Scott sunbathing on a boat-top nearly takes the cake for me. It almost appears as if the director shot this scene without Ashley's approval. You're a sneaky genius, John Stockwell!

#1: Kelly Brook (PIRANHA 3-D)

Naturally, I have to give our beloved Kelly Brook the #1 spot for what is probably the greatest scene involving boats and hotties in PIRANHA 3-D. If Noah ever caught Kelly trying to sneak her way to safety on his ark, there's no way he could resist keeping her onboard. In fact, he'd have to. She would make for a great floatation device.

Extra Tidbit: Which one of these hotties would you rather take a fishing trip with?

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11:46PM on 03/28/2014

Burned in my memory

How about a young Brooke Shields in WET GOLD? Smoking hot! Trust me.
How about a young Brooke Shields in WET GOLD? Smoking hot! Trust me.
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8:23PM on 03/28/2014

Woah woah woah....

No Jessica Alba??? She smokes EVERY woman on the list.....easily. Also, Kelly Brook was much hotter in Survival Island than in Piranha. Kate Winslett was annoying but seriously hot (at least while being drawn) in Titanic, and I'd definitely take a young Nicole Kidman in Dead Calm over any of the women on this list.

But that's just me.....
No Jessica Alba??? She smokes EVERY woman on the list.....easily. Also, Kelly Brook was much hotter in Survival Island than in Piranha. Kate Winslett was annoying but seriously hot (at least while being drawn) in Titanic, and I'd definitely take a young Nicole Kidman in Dead Calm over any of the women on this list.

But that's just me.....
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