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The Sexy Six: Patriotic Hotties

07.06.2011by: Randy the Ram

My fellow Americans! How was your 4th of July weekend? Hope it was filled with hotties, hotdogs and some erect hotdog moments due to watching them hotties as it’s our right to do so freely just as it is my right to be able to bring you in this edition of The Sexy Six some very patriotic hotness.

HONORABLE MENTION: The ladies from AMERICAN PIE

It’s unusual seeing these hotties and thinking how time has changed for the worse. People ultimately found out that Shannon Elizabeth was just a piece of ass that couldn’t act for shit and Mena Suvari was slightly better but less hotter unfortunately, then there’s Tara Reid which... uh... no comment. By the way, where the hell is Natasha Lyonne? She could have posed instead of that commie Alyson Hannigan, just look at her, all covered in red, even her hair is a communist! For shame Alyson, for shame.

Whatever the case, judging by this pic, I definitely want some of that pie, especially the middle slices.

6. Tina Fey

One thing I love about the US is that there can be people that make fun of everything that ultimately represents America. Exhibit A: Tina Fey. With her droll style of comedy she unconsciously demonstrates how the US is filled with huge but equal amounts of crappy and genius forms of entertainment.

Just the fact that she manages to make me smile with an awkward smirk and a funky dance move here and there is sexy enough, but she definitely defends herself quite nicely in the looks department.

With that I salute you Tina Fey and I raise the flag* for you and your legs.

5. Raquel Welch

An oldie but hottie, Raquel Welch is definitely an American icon, straight out of Chicago and reportedly she’s even a descendant of John Quincy Adams so if that doesn’t make her American I’m sure her huge boobs will convince you. Use the stars to guide you!

I raise the flag* at the Great Rackel Welch circa the 1970s.

4. Charisma Carpenter

Charisma Carpenter has gone through all sorts of stereotypical American ramifications for her Buffy/Angel character “Cordelia”. She’s been the bitchy popular one, the diva, the unemployed starlet and the ditzy pretty girl but one thing that remained was her hotness, she’s a very underrated hottie with Cherokee blood which makes her the most American lady in this list and for that and her nakedness, I raise my flag* at thee, Charisma.

I’m not an anarchist or anything but I suddenly had the urge to destroy a flag or better yet, the need to BE a flag.

3. Rachel Bilson

While slightly missing some stars and stripes I’ll still be raising my flag* to Rachel Bilson for her dedication to keeping the US just as hot as any other exotic place on the planet, furthermore she has the perfect amount of cuteness to go along with the sexy. A red white and blue teeny tiny bikini with sailor motifs? What’s more patriotic than that? That’s right Ms. Bilson, be sexy and salute the flag!

2. Brooke Burke

If there was some place where naked wildness was taking part of course we had to send a fitting correspondent so cue Brooke Burke, one of the hottest bodies to ever grace reality TV and all television for that matter, too bad we never got to see her go as wild as some spring breakers in Cabo.

Still, for one über sexy pic of Brooke with some very gropeable stars and some squeezable stripes. I raise my flag*.

1. Erica Durance

Erica Durance might not be from the US but her character of Lois Lane is the counterpart to America’s strongest icon (literally) and in this occasion she’s being part of America’s favorite pastime, and no I’m not talking about Baseball.

In my opinion, stripteasing always wins which is why Erica Durance gets the “coveted” No. 1 spot on today’s sexy list, but wait there’s more!

SEXY GIF EXPLOSION!

 

 

 

 

I raise my flag* to you Erica Durance, for your dedication to the stars and the stripes and for twirling and swinging away on that stripper pole.

So that’s it, Who wore those stars and/or stripes best? Who makes you feel some fireworks in your pants? Share with us below (just don’t share too much) and always remember, this is just another horndog’s opinion.

Extra Tidbit: *...and by “my flag” I meant my penis.
Source: Movie Hotties

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4:22PM on 07/07/2011

Tina Fay rocks!!!

I'm SO gay for her!!! She's SO perfect! Great choice, Randy The Ram...threesome comes to my mind!
I'm SO gay for her!!! She's SO perfect! Great choice, Randy The Ram...threesome comes to my mind!
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-16
4:31PM on 07/06/2011

Tina Fey Redux

Barely funny, FAR from hot.
Randy the Ram...you need to re-evaluate your requirements and get old ScarFace off this list. What a disgrace.
Barely funny, FAR from hot.
Randy the Ram...you need to re-evaluate your requirements and get old ScarFace off this list. What a disgrace.
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9:06AM on 07/07/2011
Was the "Scarface" comment necessary? Don't be an asshole.
Was the "Scarface" comment necessary? Don't be an asshole.
3:39PM on 07/06/2011

Top Banner and Rachel Bilson win

I am beginning to appreciate a younger, softer Alyson Hannigan as being way hotter than I initially thought and just...that whole row of ladies makes me whistful and horny for simpler times. Bye, bye Mrs. American Pie, as the song says....
I am beginning to appreciate a younger, softer Alyson Hannigan as being way hotter than I initially thought and just...that whole row of ladies makes me whistful and horny for simpler times. Bye, bye Mrs. American Pie, as the song says....
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+1
1:19PM on 07/06/2011
Well, I'm feeling patriotic!
Well, I'm feeling patriotic!
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-24
12:37PM on 07/06/2011

YOU ARE ON CRACK!!!

How can you dare to have a Patriotic Hottie list and start off with TINA FEY?!?!? SERIOUSLY?!!? That ugly Troll could not hold a candle to Cindy Crawford.

You had Raquel Welsh on there. You didn't even have to go that far back to find this fantastic photo of Super Cindy.

Hotter than Tina Fey is Sarah Silverman. I would have settled for her if you want funny. Or is that because she makes fun of Palin?
How can you dare to have a Patriotic Hottie list and start off with TINA FEY?!?!? SERIOUSLY?!!? That ugly Troll could not hold a candle to Cindy Crawford.

You had Raquel Welsh on there. You didn't even have to go that far back to find this fantastic photo of Super Cindy.

Hotter than Tina Fey is Sarah Silverman. I would have settled for her if you want funny. Or is that because she makes fun of Palin?
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2:36PM on 07/06/2011
What a Chode.
What a Chode.
+4
10:47AM on 07/06/2011

'' GOD BLESS AMERICA ''

Once again , Mi Amigo , you've raised my ....er .... interest... yeah , interest ... with an outstanding ' SEXY SIX ' Major Props for OC Sex-Kitten RACHEL BILSON , and the Lascivious CHARISMA CARPENTER , who we don't see enough of anymore !! P.S. Great ' AMERICAN PIE ' Pic !!
Once again , Mi Amigo , you've raised my ....er .... interest... yeah , interest ... with an outstanding ' SEXY SIX ' Major Props for OC Sex-Kitten RACHEL BILSON , and the Lascivious CHARISMA CARPENTER , who we don't see enough of anymore !! P.S. Great ' AMERICAN PIE ' Pic !!
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+10
8:22AM on 07/06/2011
Excellent choice for Erica as number 1, always thought she was an underrated hottie, and she contributed loads to Smallville as Lois, which is what the striptease is from.
Excellent choice for Erica as number 1, always thought she was an underrated hottie, and she contributed loads to Smallville as Lois, which is what the striptease is from.
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