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The Sexy Six: Salma Hayek

Sep. 21, 2011by: Randy the Ram

Guess who will be celebrating a birthday in 2 days? No, its not Salma Hayek but one of her biggest fans, the bossman himself, the myth, the legend, the JoBlo! So yall wont mind if I become a suck-up and give him a little Salma Hayek treat do you? Also, just to say I killed two birds with one stone, last week on September 16 Mexico celebrated its independence so this can also be a way to get that Latino pride going by celebrating with your favorite Mexican mamacita ese! So lets dive right in as we take a look at Salmas hottest film moments.

HONORABLE MENTION: Breaking Up

This would be one hell of a sexy clip if only we didnt get guy crotch shots left and right as well as a hyperventilating tripped out Russell Crowe, but it does feature enough Salma moaning, twisting and turning to make a nifty deposit in our spank bank. Just close your eyes and think that thats you and every little thing is going to be all right.

6. TIMECODE

TIMECODE is an exhausting experience born out of a gimmick where we see 4 stories in real time within a 2x2 grid. Its innovating for sure but boring as f*ck, except for a steamy little scene where Salma Hayek starts smooching Jeanne Tripplehorn and making us all tripplehorny in the process. I advise you to mute the video because the films audio can pull you out of the scene since were hearing dubs from the other sequences (which we have removed for your viewing pleasure).

5. DOGMA

Salma Hayek strips down to some pink top and panties, what more do you want? Oh yeah shes wearing glasses and shes in pigtails, immediate bonus points from me. The difference from other scenes is that instead of going full steam ahead with the sexy angle shes just having straight up fun as Serendipity and helps sell the humor of the scene and overall its a lot of FUN to look at.

4. ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

HELLOOOO NURSE!! Whats better than one Salma? How about FIVE Salmas? Why dont we go one step further and make it five Salmas dressed in a hot nurse's outfit crawling all over the floor, making some sexy poses and doing a little dance here and there. I was tempted to put this in the #1 spot but the road ahead is filled with less clothing and higher boobage quotient.

3. FRIDA

If youre looking for loads of naked sexy Salma, with a dosage of sexy Salma dancing the sexy tango with sexy Ashley Judd then look no further than FRIDA, especially since sexy naked Salma is part of a bonerific lesbian scene with one exotic French-African amazon. Just excuse the unibrow and the VERY light hint of the creators trying to give Salma a moustache but who are they kidding, nothing can hide Salmas sultriness.

2. DESPERADO

Rodriguez sure knew how to exploit Ms. Hayeks talents while FROM DUSK TILL DAWN(foreshadowing!) gave us a muy sexy chica and made her into a sex symbol DESPERADO cemented her status and showed her much steamier MORE naked and ardent side. Time to close your eyes again kiddies, practice your sexiest Antonio Banderas accent and let your imaginations slide!

1. FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Not too long ago I was bitching about how this scene is so overplayed but Im not washing my hands here, Im to blame as well. This is the THIRD time its been featured in The Sexy Six! So why am I giving it the top spot? To be honest it was a hard decision (oh yeah, things were hard for sure) so it was just a matter of making the easy choice and f*ck it, Ill be a eunuch if this isnt one hell of a classic sexy scene. Its right beside classics as that threesome in WILD THINGS and Jessica Rabbit playing patty-cake. So enjoy the snake, the fire, the legs, the sexy dance and the ample boobage.

Thats about it for today, thank you Salma Hayek for all the wonderful mammaries and we hope to see your nakedness once more in the future.

What say you fellow hottie fans? Think Im missing something? Well dont forget to speak your mind below and share with us why is it you love Salma?

Extra Tidbit: Oh and Happy Mother Effin' Birthday Jo!
Source: Movie Hotties
Tags: Salma Hayek

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9:27PM on 09/21/2011

Really JoBlo?!

I understand the need to ad revenue, but do you really need to tag advertisements at the beginning of EVERY clip?!?
Just so you advertisers know, if they care, I saw one ad and then clicked each video to make sure there were ads. Once I found out that there were I stopped watching, worked on something else and came back when the ad noise stopped. But by then I was so tired of waiting I chose not to watch the videos anyway.
I understand the need to ad revenue, but do you really need to tag advertisements at the beginning of EVERY clip?!?
Just so you advertisers know, if they care, I saw one ad and then clicked each video to make sure there were ads. Once I found out that there were I stopped watching, worked on something else and came back when the ad noise stopped. But by then I was so tired of waiting I chose not to watch the videos anyway.
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1:36AM on 09/22/2011
Sigh. Why do you guys always assume THE WORST?

No, not every video is supposed to show ads. In fact, we have a CAP limit for each visitor, but it's POSSIBLE (yes, believe it or not) that sometimes things are "buggy" or an error has been committed by someone or a million other things that can go wrong day-to-day.

Why don't you just EMAIL US and point this out, instead of publicly making it about "ad revenue" and assuming the worst?

This article is for you and all others who always "assume the
Sigh. Why do you guys always assume THE WORST?

No, not every video is supposed to show ads. In fact, we have a CAP limit for each visitor, but it's POSSIBLE (yes, believe it or not) that sometimes things are "buggy" or an error has been committed by someone or a million other things that can go wrong day-to-day.

Why don't you just EMAIL US and point this out, instead of publicly making it about "ad revenue" and assuming the worst?

This article is for you and all others who always "assume the worst": [link]
2:43PM on 09/21/2011
From Dusk Till Dawn.
From Dusk Till Dawn.
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12:34PM on 09/21/2011
Definitely Desperado.
Definitely Desperado.
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+1
9:25AM on 09/21/2011
Nicely done , suck-up !! I couldn't forget her in '' FRIDA '' , '' DUSK TIL DAWN '' or '' DESPERADO '' if I tried . And that's not going to happen .
Nicely done , suck-up !! I couldn't forget her in '' FRIDA '' , '' DUSK TIL DAWN '' or '' DESPERADO '' if I tried . And that's not going to happen .
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8:15AM on 09/21/2011
Hottest. Woman. Ever.
Hottest. Woman. Ever.
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