Well my birthday is a few days away so what better way to celebrate than with a little Scarlett fever. So being the "clever" guy that I am I went out and got me some birthday GIFs, featuring one of my favorite hotties Scarlett Johansson. So c'mon, let's party with a little ScarJo sexiness.
It all starts innocently enough. There's playfulness and a little bit of teasing. As we'll find out, Ms. Johansson is an expert at teasing and she's off to a good start in this piece from a photo and video session titled "Silent Film" by Cliff Watts that showcases the sexy starlet's fun side.
Yes! Now it's getting RIDICULAWESOME! Enough with the fun, let's start getting SEXY! Just one deep look from SJ is all I need to hop on that six to midnight train. "Be the ball!" my high school coach used to say, well be proud Mr. Carter because after staring at ScarJo hump that ball this is the first time I wish that were actually possible, although I'd prefer if the ball was humping her.
I don't think it can get better than... oh hi Penelope Cruz! Are you here to elevate the sexy quotient and make us forget that embarrassing moment between SJ and Sandra Bullock? Perfect! Don't mind me, I'll just stand right here staring, fighting the urge to not touch anything including myself.
What could be better than two hot chicks kissing? OMG sideboob! ScarJo fresh out of the shower, conveniently covered, waiting for that moment when we take a peek. Don't act so shocked JoHo, you're up to those teasing tricks again. I just know it.
Time for some tasty cleavage and from one of my favorite Scarlett characters no less. THE PERFECT SCORE's Francesca. A character I loved even before I even knew who Scarlett Johansson was. I dug her 90s punk hair, getup and attitude. Sure they were pandering to us offbeat outsiders but there was also ScarJo's ever present luscious lips and epic breasts. Swoon.
SO CLOSE! You tease us once again Ms. Scarlett! Are you not into us? It looked like we were going to get the goods but yet we remained so far. We have you all wet and naked and that may be the most glorious microseconds ever but if only you had jumped a little higher. If only you weren't making ripples with your hands. If only the camera was placed in a high angle. If only. Sigh. At least I can watch the gloriousness again and again and again and again.
So there you go, 6 Scarlett Johansson moments captured for all eternity in hypnotizing GIF glory. After all this foreplay I think I deserve to fondle something. It's time to get some bonus action. It's my birthday after all and gropeage will be just what the doctor ordered.
Damn you Bradley Cooper! Get out of my dreams!