ONLINE

Latest Movie Hotties Headlines

Then & Now: Christie Brinkley

Jun. 7, 2013by: Salacious Crumb

Time: the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole. With summer just around the corner, and youngsters getting excited for their 3-month break, many of you are probably planning some elaborate, long-awaited vacation trips (or you're planning on getting blackout drunk and spraying your kids with the hose next to an inflatable pool). Nowadays, with the internet and other advances in technology, planning a vacation is as simple as pressing a button. You just need to avoid every single step made by Clark Griswold in NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION. That movie stands strong as the perfect example of how not to spend a family vacation. The one great thing to come out of it, of course, is "the girl in the red Ferrari", Christie Brinkley.

Brinkley was born under the name Christie Lee Hudson from Monroe, Michigan in 1954. She's only been in a couple of films, and could hardly be considered an actress, but she's definitely a full-fledged hottie. Brinkley was voted by Playboy readers as one of the "100 Sexiest Women of the 20th Century", ranked 3rd in AskMen.com's "Top 10 Supermodels of All Time" list, and recently ranked 16th in Men's Health magazine's "100 Hottest Women of All-Time". Now, I'm sure a handful of you are already aware of Christie Brinkley's current whereabouts. If that's the case, simply enjoy the immense amount of bikini pictures in this column, and everything should be hunky dory...

Brinkley was educated at Le Lycée Français de Los Angeles, then moved to Paris in 1973 to study art. That alone makes her cooler than I am or ever will be. The year Christie moved to Paris, she was discovered by American photographer Errol Sawyer at a post office. I guess that goes to show you, if you're insanely hot, horny dudes with cameras will follow you anywhere. Anyway, Sawyer basically launched her modeling career by doing her first photoshoot and introducing her to the head of Elite Model Management in Paris. Brinkley didn't think of herself as "model material" at this point. "I was basically a surfer girl from California," she says. "I never looked like a model." Yeah, Christie, that industry is an odd suit for you. I mean, these following pictures aren't sexually appealing at all...

'73' was also the year Brinkley met her first husband, French artist Jean-François Allaux, with whom she had no children and ended the marriage in 1981. Being (to say the least) quite popular among French photographers, a few of them referred her to Eileen Ford, a popular modeling agency in the states. Christie flew out to California, and by the end of her first lunch meeting with an affiliate, she was booked for 3 national ad campaigns. After that, it wasn't long before teenagers were caught by their parents licking the covers of magazines like Glamour, US, Vogue, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, Esquire, Harper's Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, and the best-selling issue of LIFE ever. Ever. After all, isn't this what LIFE's all about?...

Christie was also the first model to ever land on the cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue 3 consecutive years in a row (1979-1981). Yes, Brinkley closed the '70's and opened the '80's with her astounding hotness, but that streak wasn't going to end just yet.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION (1983) is such a landmark comedy, you almost wish they'd knock that "National Lampoon" label off of it already. It's one of the two great films to come out of that production company, the other of course, being ANIMAL HOUSE. It had the balls to candidly joke about life, death, family, failure and metallic pea station wagons before any other film. On top of that, it all went along with the premise of the Griswold family's desperate attempt to make it to Walley World, a park sharing remarkably coincidental similarities to some other cartoon character-based theme park. Am I forgetting something? Oh, yes, the girl in the red Ferrari.

Yes, Christie Brinkley's role as the nameless girl in VACATION may be the only reason "I'm So Excited" by The Pointer Sisters was a hit single. Throughout the course of the movie, she's the only thing that provides Clark Griswold with the hope for fantasy (or "vacation"), but when he finally gets his chance to "go for it" in a hotel pool, he stops himself. Is it because he's a married man with a conscience who wouldn't cheat on his wife? No. It's actually because the water's freezing cold, and his obscenities wake up the entire hotel, including his wife, who catches him red-handed. Brinkley reprised her role in 1997, this time as "the woman in the red Ferrari", in VEGAS VACATION.

Brinkley married musician Billy Joel in 1985, the same year they had a child together, Alexa Ray Joel. In March of 1994, Christie was in a helicopter crash with Real estate developer Richard Taubman, who proceeded to propose to her in May 1994, even though she was still married to Billy Joel (you know we'd all do the same thing). She married Taubman in December, 1994, and announced they were expecting a baby boy (Jack Paris) at the wedding. That marriage ended in 1995. I know, I know... what a mess. Well, they say 4 times the charm, so Christie got married once again in 1996, this time to architect Peter Halsey Cook, with whom she had one child (Sailor Lee). They ended their marriage in 2008, after Cook's affair with a teenage girl. I guess this means she's currently up for grabs, gentlemen!

Over the past couple decades, Brinkley's modeling career sort of began to fade away, and with 3 kids with 3 different baby daddies, she probably began to settle down. Now, this obviously means she's devolved into an orc-like creature from beyond, and has probably become fat, hairy and toothless, right? She probably had to change her name to Crusty Stinkley. I'm cringing at the thought of how the following picture might look, but we have to move on. Try to hold down your lunch...

You might want to hold down that tent in your pants, instead. Hubba f*cking hubba! 59-years-old, ladies and gents! Everyone over 50 is now bowing their heads in shame. That picture is from the launch issue of Social Life magazine, taken at Brinkley's house in the Hamptons just a few weeks ago (you can check out the rest of the spread here). Okay, okay, so surely this image must be highly photoshopped. There's no way in hell Christie's bikini bod would still look this good in some recently taken, untouched-up photos she posted on her Twitter account, right? Right???

(Insert animal noises here).

Well, I'll be John Candy's barf bag. I think I sense marriage #5 may be on the way, if she's willing to meet up for some coffee with Salacious (and perhaps a helicopter ride). This shouldn't be a huge surprise to those of you who've noticed Christie alongside Chuck Norris in those TV infomercials promoting Total Gym home fitness equipment. I guess that shit actually works (I should have never denied the power of that beard). Many of you may also be aware of Christie's Broadway Beacon Award-winning portrayal of 'Roxie Hart' in the 2012 run of the hit musical Chicago. And lest we forget she's even guest-starred on "Parks and Recreation" recently. Here's just a handful of other pictures of Brinkley that have popped up over the past couple years...

In her lengthy run as a model, Christie Brinkley has appeared on over 500 magazine covers (and counting, apparently). She's held major contracts with companies like MasterCard, Diet Coke, Chanel No. 19, Got Milk?, Healthy Choice, Nissan and dozens of others. She's received numerous awards and achievements, including the Heart Award, the Humanitarian Award, the Smart Cookie Award, and even the official 'Mother of the Year' title (eat your hearts out, moms). As I mentioned toward the start of this column, several sources consider Brinkley to be one of the sexiest women of all time, and dammit if she doesn't hold that title for many decades to come. 

Extra Tidbit: How do you think the girl in the red Ferrari's been holding up?

Related Articles

MORE FUN FROM AROUND THE WEB

Drool Back
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or

10:35AM on 06/11/2013
I think she looks better now than she did back then! GOOD LAWD!!!!!!
I think she looks better now than she did back then! GOOD LAWD!!!!!!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
3:06AM on 06/08/2013

Brinkley!

She is definitely in the classic hot women Hall of Fame....she was hot back in the day and is stil hot today!
She is definitely in the classic hot women Hall of Fame....she was hot back in the day and is stil hot today!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:48AM on 06/08/2013
Keeping it tight!
Keeping it tight!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+2
8:27PM on 06/07/2013

ooooofff

Christie has always blown me away. Figuratively speaking unfortunately. :(
Christie has always blown me away. Figuratively speaking unfortunately. :(
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
6:26PM on 06/07/2013

God damn!

That's one 59-year-old I would tear the f*ck up!
That's one 59-year-old I would tear the f*ck up!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
5:00PM on 06/07/2013
She's found the fountain of youth that girl just doesn't age!!!
She's found the fountain of youth that girl just doesn't age!!!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
3:20PM on 06/07/2013
MILF royalty
MILF royalty
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+2
12:26PM on 06/07/2013

I adored her as a teenager

and her posters graced my walls alongside my various rock star loves. I still think she was one of the most beautiful women ever.
and her posters graced my walls alongside my various rock star loves. I still think she was one of the most beautiful women ever.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
9:09AM on 06/07/2013
You can't top her skinny dip scene but she has aged well.
You can't top her skinny dip scene but she has aged well.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
8:03AM on 06/07/2013
red dress, stockings, playing with her shoe. That picture sticks out as the sexiest to me of the whole page.
red dress, stockings, playing with her shoe. That picture sticks out as the sexiest to me of the whole page.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
7:44AM on 06/07/2013

God, Gerry is such a lucky guy

Coming home from the Parks department to that!
Coming home from the Parks department to that!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
7:01AM on 06/07/2013

Smoke Show at any age...

At 59 she has a better body that most 20 year olds. Very nice indeed!
At 59 she has a better body that most 20 year olds. Very nice indeed!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
5:35AM on 06/07/2013
She'll always be that uptown girl.
She'll always be that uptown girl.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
5:24AM on 06/07/2013

59... Are you shitting me?

Jesus, it would take a skilled surgeon and a sharp scalpel to get me off of her once I was attached.
Still an insanely hot woman.
Jesus, it would take a skilled surgeon and a sharp scalpel to get me off of her once I was attached.
Still an insanely hot woman.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
View All Comments

Latest Movie News Headlines


Top
Loading...

Celebrity Boobies Of The Day

More
Mellor's Melons

Movie Hottie Of The Week

More
Keri's Cherry

Most Popular Movie Hottie Stories

Latest Hot Celebrity Pictures

More
kelly-brook kelly-brook kelly-brook