You could probably do an effective Archimedean study of the volume and water displacement once Coco Austin's substantial body flung itself into the cool, blue waters of the pool outside Caesar's Palace in Vegas. What's the deal with these pool party things they have out there? Who are all these people? Do they have a collection of beautiful people standing by with bathing suits, waiting for when some celeb wants to make a spectacle of themselves next to a pool? I wonder what that pays?
What can I say about Coco? The woman is excessive in pretty much every way it's possible to be. Shallow, cheesy, fake, tacky, stupid - these adjectives also apply. I would still hit that though. Just like with fellow E! representative and big ass-bearer Kim Kardashian, who's life is virtually identical to Coco's, I simply don't care about any of the stuff I don't like about her. The little I do like is more than enough to justify any number of vile acts I would commit on her. I make no excuse for it. I'm just depraved like that. I wonder - if I was a rap star, would it be okay then?