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When Coco lays around the pool, she really lays around the pool

May. 28, 2012by: Droz

You could probably do an effective Archimedean study of the volume and water displacement once Coco Austin's substantial body flung itself into the cool, blue waters of the pool outside Caesar's Palace in Vegas. What's the deal with these pool party things they have out there? Who are all these people? Do they have a collection of beautiful people standing by with bathing suits, waiting for when some celeb wants to make a spectacle of themselves next to a pool? I wonder what that pays?

What can I say about Coco? The woman is excessive in pretty much every way it's possible to be. Shallow, cheesy, fake, tacky, stupid - these adjectives also apply. I would still hit that though. Just like with fellow E! representative and big ass-bearer Kim Kardashian, who's life is virtually identical to Coco's, I simply don't care about any of the stuff I don't like about her. The little I do like is more than enough to justify any number of vile acts I would commit on her. I make no excuse for it. I'm just depraved like that. I wonder - if I was a rap star, would it be okay then?

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+2
3:20AM on 05/29/2012
The way she is standing and as big as her ass is and how weird her legs look she just reminds me of Stromboli from the Disney Pinocchio cartoon.
The way she is standing and as big as her ass is and how weird her legs look she just reminds me of Stromboli from the Disney Pinocchio cartoon.
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1:34AM on 05/29/2012

Ewww times a trillion.

Seriously....How can anyone find her, well it, attractive???
Seriously....How can anyone find her, well it, attractive???
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11:12PM on 05/28/2012
Fake pig.
Fake pig.
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+2
7:41PM on 05/28/2012

A body only Ice-T could love

Stumpy legs, oversized pelvis, boobs that are miles apart. Like seriously, is there something medically wrong with her?
Stumpy legs, oversized pelvis, boobs that are miles apart. Like seriously, is there something medically wrong with her?
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7:41PM on 05/28/2012
disgusting
disgusting
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-3
7:40PM on 05/28/2012
double post
double post
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+3
7:23PM on 05/28/2012

Ugh!

Not much else to say.
Not much else to say.
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6:03PM on 05/28/2012
Fake as all hell, but I'm a guy with low standards. I'd crawl all over that.
Fake as all hell, but I'm a guy with low standards. I'd crawl all over that.
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5:00PM on 05/28/2012
I'd hit it
I'd hit it
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