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In Other Messed Up News…

DJ AM dares to replace Nicole Richie with some hussy fashion designer? What, suddenly looking like an insect and being rail-thin is unattractive ? Shame on you, DJ AM. Penelope Ann Miller has joined the cast of Fox's fall drama/thriller Vanished where she'll play someone who helps federal officers find a missing senator's wife because, you know, she wants to lesbo out with...

Nicole/Adam are done

Most of you have probably heard the devastating news that Nicole Richie and Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein are officially broken up . Again. As much as we sincerely believe Nicole resembles an arthropod in more ways than one, we certainly don't wish on her the pain and suffering of a second break-up with someone who's so obviously special (the guy's entertaiment moniker, DJ AM, should clue you in to...

Linds & Nicole get cozy

There was a time when seeing Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie holding hands would be relatively sexually enticing for perverted minds such as ours but now there's only a morbid "car accident" fascination about it. And it has nothing to do with Lindsay-kins. No, it's Nicole and her shocking and thoroughly upsetting transmutation into a giant phasmid . We can only pray she...

Nicole likes to ride

Goddammit, they said she'd be alone on that rollercoaster and in that park. If anything happens, it wasn't us. By the way, we know what you did to that rollercoaster, Nicole Richie and it disgusts us. At least it would if we hadn't already done it.

In Other Media News

Eva Longoria finally achieves a lifelong aspiration - an extra inch of rock hard muscle on her spectacular ass. Any girls over 18 auditioning for HIS DARK MATERIALS report to Movie Hotties HQ immediately! Eminem protégé and D12 band member was recently shot dead in a nightclub. Emimem reacted by divorcing his wife again. Real World goes to Denver because that's...

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