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Lisa Opie continues to show me what I can't do in the bedroom

Some things in life just aren't very fair. One of those things is my more-than-extreme obesity and my inability to do anything in bed besides suffocating whomever allows me to be on top of them. So, it's especially difficult seeing images like the ones below. It's a confusing thing, really. On one hand, it's super, incredibly sexy to see hottie Lisa Opie contort her body into...

I wonder what else Lisa Opie can do with her body...

Welp, now my spankbank, I mean, my…mind? F*ck it. My spankbank totally knows that model Lisa Opie can move her body like this. Yeah. I'm gonna have to put that one right into my savings account, if you know what I mean. Here we can see the hottie doing what she does best (?) on the beaches of Miami and putting her body in a myriad of sexy positions, which is totally awesome. The nature of...

Amanda Cerny playing basketball in the near nude is just as good as it reads

Dear God in heaven, Amanda Cerny . Jeebus. Holy Jeebus. You're insane. I don't care if these pictures give off an obviously set-up photoshoot and not just paparazzi snapping pics of you (and you looking incredible in every single one of them). No. No, I really don't care about that. Because you've showed me. I never thought I'd be super duper sexually attracted to a girl with lots of muscles...

Leann Rimes sells her country soul for Garnier hair products

There's a poor joke about how country bumpkin chicks are all butterfaces because they (and their gene contributors) have been raised on moonshine. It's a simple and stupid joke but for whatever reason it sticks in my head when I see images of Leann Rimes . I actually don't find her to be a butterface or ugly at all but I feel like I should call her a guilty pleasure hottie because most...

Jennifer Nicole Lee and her boobs of steelicone beg the question: are chicks sexy when they work out?

The ridiculously hot weather located in every part of the states aside from the cold parts should be good enough reason to get fitness chick, Jennifer Nicole Lee back into a bikini but it seems as if JNL has it stuck in her head that you'd rather see staged photographs of her hanging off of monkey bars with her Frankenipples trying to escape her Lycra tops instead of glimpses of her...
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