Store TAGS

Emmy Rossum is the target for all of my affection to land on

Target is one of those stores that I feel complete indifference towards. If I have to go there I will, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be blowing up vehicles left and right just to get a good parking space there, you know what I mean? It sells shit and if I really need shit and there's not a closer place to get that shit, I'll go to Target to get my shit. I hope I'm...
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04.16.2015
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Victoria Justice "unveils the curtains" for a nice view of her cleavage

Victoria Justice is no stranger to the fantasies that I have in my head where I rescue a beautiful woman while riding a winged horse over a volcano. It may sound strange, but every woman I meet or see is pretty much in it. I'd love to be saving Victoria a little more, but sometimes, I'm just not reminded of her from the television or the internet. Thankfully, she's reentered my...
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11.17.2014
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Maria Menounos has the ability to always look fairly juicy

It's great to know that my Greek goddess Maria Menounos endorses Kohl's. I shop at Kohl's pretty much all the time. Not because of their discounts or the convenience or even that cute girl that works in check out (Kimber, if you're reading this…I love you!!!), but because I live in an awful city and besides Walmart, that's basically the only place that I can shop. Not to say that I don't...
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09.17.2014
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Heather Graham is more than just hot at the Just Cavalli opening

Holy guacamole! Heather Graham is looking like a straight up fox. Here we can see her at the opening of Just Cavalli flagship store in New York, and you know what? I have no idea what I just said. Classy stores like Just Cavalli and Gucci and Walmart just don't really apply to a guy like me. When you go dumpster diving to find underwear on a regular basis like I do, you kind of abandon all...
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12.13.2013
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Kelly Brook shows off her new look, but still remains sexy as hell

Ahh, Kelly Brook . It never gets old to write about this one. Each article about her is like the creepiest Valentine's Day note to her. I end up pouring out my entire soul talking about her and every single one of them has gone unread…just like elementary school Valentine's Day cards. Hmm. Anyway, here she is getting herself into nice (if a little Photoshopped) poses for New Look . She still...
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11.06.2013
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Jessica Alba can look hot any time, any place, any where, any day

I'm happy to have been coming across Jessica Alba so much. Let me rephrase that. I'm happy to have been seeing Jessica Alba so prominent online lately. There we go. It's true, though. Ever since MACHETE KILLS started its promotional run, it seems like Jessica's been everywhere. Now, we can see her chilling at Whole Foods and buying some super-duper healthy and expensive...
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10.15.2013
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It's time to reacquaint ourselves with Katie Holmes' tits

There was a time not too long ago when Katie Holmes' perky twins were the stuff of legend for many a Moviehotties fan. Then she descended into batshittery for awhile and had the world's most pampered rug rat. 6 years later Katie has emerged from her relatively brief flirtation with nuttery, but how have the years treated her once beloved bewbage? Katie's recent trip to the Stella McCartney...
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12.27.2012
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