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7 BELOW
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Reviewed by: Mike Catalano

Directed by: Kevin Carraway

Starring:
Ving Rhames
Val Kilmer
Luke Goss

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Seven sort of strangers end up stranded and are forced to spend the night in an old creepy house where a horrible incident occurred 100 years ago.
Is it good movie?
Was the above synopsis blandly familiar enough for ya? Sorry about that. Maybe the actual flick itself can make up for it? NOPE!

Remember when Ving Rhames and Val Kilmer were in-demand actors? What the hell happened? I suppose when times are tough actors need to act in order to pay the bills, meaning that they need to star in poop like this to stay alive. It's sad, but that is the business.

And now, the review for 7 BELOW, a flick that in terms of originality, goes from making no effort to eventually making no sense. I know that oftentimes, horror themes and plot lines end up being similar to each other. That doesn't bother me. What does is when the plot is so familiar, so a dime-a-dozen, and it refuses to infuse ANY forms of creativity or coolness. I don't care if your premise is unoriginal, but please, at least do something to make it fun or watchable.

Unfortunately, with 7, all we get are forgettable characters, zero scares, minimal gore, and some truly awful dialogue. Yeah, this one will probably have you either looking at your watch or looking to do something else altogether. I get that there is a ghostly presence in the house because all the new guests keep seeing boring visions of people from the past. Now, inject some action! Instead, we get one boring, drawn out night where the film is supposed to be building toward some grand reveal at the end.

Upon reaching the conclusion, we do get a reveal, just not a very plausible or even coherent one. What was revealed seemed pointless and what wasn't revealed needed more explanation. In terms of writing, it was a complete mess. It's like the writer or director just gave up and said, "Okay, we have enough input here to end the flick. No need for any further exposition." If that was the case, then it was a mistake. The filmmakers may have bet a little too much on Ving Rhames' charisma being enough to sell the flick. I mean, even the title doesn't make much sense. This is all just silly.

Video / Audio
Video Widescreen 1.77:1

Audio English dolby digital.

The Extras
Just the dang Trailer. Whoop-dee-doo!

Last Call
The same premise of almost every other "guests in a haunted house" movie only without any added originality or flavor. All we get are lame plot twists, stale dialogue, and two former big-time stars phoning it in. Not enough scares or gore didn't help either. Yeah, the title may be 7 BELOW, but it plays like it's six feet under.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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