×

HORROR DVD/BLU-RAY REVIEWS

Search by title # A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
A NOCTURNE
Download Movie
Reviewed by: Zombie Boy

Directed by: Bill Mousoulis

Starring:
Vanessa de Largie
Alex Spears
Haiha Le

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A couple of vampires walk around for a while looking glum, bite a few people, and thatís about it.
Is it good movie?
I would love to spend this first paragraph detailing the plot of A Nocturne, but that is difficult since it didnít have one. You know the kind of film that begins with a bunch of scenes featuring different characters, and by the end all of these events converge into one and the characters come to some sort of nexus and we see how theyíre all related? Well, picture that movie with the former but not the latter, and youíd have this boring movie. There are literally characters who walk around for a bit, give a line or two of dialogue, and are never explained or even seen again.

I get the point that this film was supposed to convey futility, the unending tedium and boredom of immortality, and the total randomness of what we call life. But what that equates to in this film are either scenes with characters staring at each other for five minutes without speaking, or long, ludicrous soliloquies that I canít imagine even made sense to the characters speaking them. At this point I am reduced to filling up space, so Iíll go ahead and lay out a few events for you:

An Asian chick helps the vamps kidnap a girl; an older, scraggly-haired dude spouts poetry while watching the vamps drain the girl, and then cooks her organs and eats them; the Asian chick chokes a figment of her imagination and is never seen again; the old dude gets drunk, shows up with a mystery wound in his chest, and the guy vamp gets mad when the girl vamps wants to bite him; a French woman shows up and speaks FOREVER and the vamps act like they know what the shite sheís getting on about; a man walks around the city, crying; and finally a dude in a business suit stabs one of the vamps and walks away.

That may seem like Iím consolidating information, but Iím really not. Thatís it. Just a series of random, insensible occurrences dotting an ocean of empty space. Both male and female vampires get naked, and those are about the only scenes that I can say may even be remotely interesting to you.
Video / Audio
Video: Widescreen, shot on video. Looks pretty decent for the obvious low budget, though any time the screen goes black there are strange wavy lines.

Audio: No subtitles, and just the one audio track in English, supposedly Dolby Digital. The audio quality hardly matters as the scenes that do have dialogue you wonít care if you can hear.
The Extras
Deleted Scenes: There are two scenes here: one is a ten minute version of the French chick spouting her babble, and a quick scene showing us how the old dude got his chest wound.

The rest of the special features menu is a mish-mash of Troma stuff, they being the studio that distributed this movie. Itís got a chick feeling her own thingies, trailers for other Troma films, an interesting bit about someone peeing in a suitcase at Cannes, and the boring Radiation March that they shoehorn onto every disc.
Last Call
The end result is that A Nocturne is supposed to be an existential portrait of the randomness, boredom, and futility of life by being a random, boring, and futile film. If that sounds like something youíre into, have at it, baby.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

Featured Youtube Videos

Views and Counting

Mistress Of The Week

More