HORROR DVD/BLU-RAY REVIEWS

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ANDRE THE BUTCHER
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Reviewed by: Rees Savidis

Directed by: Phillip Cruz

Starring:
Ron Jeremy
April Billingsley
Maury Sterling

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Legendary meat-monger turned undead serial killer Andre the Butcher (porn-king Ron Jeremy) trims the fat from a group of hapless teens using all manner of kitchen utensils.
Is it good movie?
Best described as Friday the 13th by way of Troma, Andre the Butcher is yet another kick to the collective crotch of the horror community; just another shot-on-video cheapie that makes big promises on paper, but delivers nothing. The stunt casting of porn legend / man-god Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy can’t even lend enough charm to this stinker to recommend it as a time-waster. While there were a few instances where it looked like Writer / Director Phillip Cruz might actually be trying for something a little bit different (the use of hillbilly narration and a few well placed freeze-frames), the film quickly spirals into the all-too-familiar territory of direct-to-video mediocrity. After about ten minutes, the few inspired moments that there are begin to wear thin and can do little to clear the air from the stink of shit that starts to set in.

Hackneyed and amateur (at best), Andre the Butcher represents so much of what’s wrong with our genre. As horror fans, we get this sort of shit shoveled on us week after week. Shoddy, low budget affairs designed to turn a quick profit for video stores and feed off of our unfettered allegiance to the genre. I’ve never met a more forgiving fan than a horror fan. We’re a ravenous, rowdy and opinionated bunch that is – more often than not - loyal to a fault; but we’re not f**king stupid.

I mentioned in a past review that the worst thing about films is that anyone can make a film. I’m going to take that statement one step further here and add this; just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Video / Audio
VIDEO: A serviceable 1.78:1 non-anamorphic transfer.

AUDIO: Dolby Digital 5.1 for the home theatre elitist as well as a 2 channel stereo mix for you archaic bastards out there.
The Extras
Apparently Closed Captioning is a special feature these days. At any rate, here’s the list:

Filmmakers Commentary: Writer / Director Phillip Cruz and a few of the actors get together and force me to sit through Andre the Butcher a second time so they can reminisce. For those who actually enjoy this film, this might matter. For me, it was as exciting as tooth decay.

Deleted Scene: Titled “Is that Ron Jeremy?” this deleted scene has one of the characters asking that very question as Andre the Butcher’s mask is removed via shotgun blast, revealing his chubby visage for the first time. Okay, I’ll admit it – I laughed.

The rest of the disc is rounded out by trailers for The Zodiac, The Choke and of course, Andre the Butcher.
Last Call
There will most likely be quite a few folks out there who will dig this flick; I’m just not one of them, even as forgiving a genre fan as I am.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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