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ANGEL BLADE
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Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: David Heavener

Starring:
David Heavener
Margot Kidder and Marc Singer

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A suspended cop (David Heavener) is asked back to the force to help track down the Angel Killer, who's been murdering pregnant prostitutes. A terrible movie ensues.
Is it good movie?
To quote Hubert Farnsworth, Sweet zombie Jesus, NO! What started off as a cop thriller/softcore porno turned into a movie so illogical it made my brain hurt by the end of the movie. The plot never went anywhere for long periods of time and then there's the bizarre inclusion of constant, unnecessary nudity. Seriously, whenever I thought of turning the movie off, there were several pairs of boobs shaking on the screen (in a rather unattractive way), but after that it was back to tolerating another five minutes of inane story and dialogue until the next inevitable nude scene.

Do I smell ham? Well that has to be coming from Director/Writer/Star David Heavener, whose performance got worse as the movie went on. Somehow this movie was able to lure b-list actors Marc Singer, Richard Moll (BULL!) and Margot Kidder (how the mighty have fallen), but their scenes were short and forgettable anyway, easy paycheck for them. The only good thing about this movie was the directing, but even that was average at best. However, the absolutely worst part of this flick had to be the story. I've seen enough cop dramas to know what makes for a good and interesting story and Angel Blade was about as far away from good as it could be. The loose ends never do get tied up, and the "big twist" towards the end made little sense in the scheme of things, making the movie's ending ridiculous. Overall this is just a bad, bad movie.

Note: After watching this, I wish I could've gotten away with this review the way Arrow did with his review of Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, heh.
Video / Audio
The Extras
Last Call
Angel Blade seems to have been made for that late night cable movie slot at 2am, but even that is too good for it. If you want loads of nudity, sex, and competent directing, go rent a skin flick, ya sicko..and stay far away from this turkey.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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