ANNIVERSARY AT SHALLOW CREEK
Reviewed by: Andre Manseau
Brianna Lee Johnson
What's it about
Six silly friends go to a cabin in the woods (weird, I know) and run into a killer with a big rifle.
Is it good movie?
I hate to be a party pooper, but this movie is really white bread. If
you asked someone who hates horror movies to describe to you what a
horror movie is, they'd describe The Anniversary at Shallow Creek. This
is one hot serving of cliches piled one on top of another.
The plot is as transparent as the walls at Krusty Burger (bonus points
if you get my episodic reference). A young couple leaves medical school
to have sex in a wooded location and their annoying stereotype friends
go with them.
Of course, they picked the wrong cabin to go to because the
"Anniversary" we're talking about is the fact that a year before a
couple of people were offed in the same cabin. The killer got away scot
If there's anything I can offer this little film as solace, it's that
there's some decent gore. Some nasty gunshot wounds, head explosions
and other culinary delights await you, if you dare to suffer through
this. It's moderately cool that the killer in this flick is a sniper,
but nothing too novel. No boobs though, so you'll have to look
elsewhere for that.
The actors in this movie are certainly trying. Interestingly enough,
the film is directed by Mark Fischer, former MLB pitcher. He also stars
in the film, and is pretty okay. This won't win any acting awards, but
it's more the writing that ends up being the problem.
The rest of the film is filled with lame jump scares that aren't scary,
and a ton of "what are you doing" moments that left me smacking my
head. The characters are constantly tipped off that bad things are
going to happen, and ignore the signs. And really, why the hell would
you go to a cabin in the woods with your stupid friends when your hot
lady friend wants you to get some business done with her?
These folks stumble around aimlessly like moths to a flashlight,
getting themselves caught in completely avoidable situations. The movie
tries to make you feel some emotional gravitas by throwing in some 'who
would you kill if you had to' stuff, but it isn't nearly enough to make
And don't even get me started about the killer here. The sniper looks
like a complete idiot, a goon in a ridiculous theatre-esque mask and
black hoodie. To top things off, the big reveal and twisty-twist ending
is just asinine. I mean, I get it. The movie is trying hard to become a
deep, sick and twisted deal and it simply doesn't work.
Video / Audio
Avoid this anniversary, please!