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ANNIVERSARY AT SHALLOW CREEK
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Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: Eric Fischer

Starring:
Eric Fischer
Brianna Lee Johnson
Brick Patrick

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Six silly friends go to a cabin in the woods (weird, I know) and run into a killer with a big rifle.
Is it good movie?
I hate to be a party pooper, but this movie is really white bread. If you asked someone who hates horror movies to describe to you what a horror movie is, they'd describe The Anniversary at Shallow Creek. This is one hot serving of cliches piled one on top of another.

The plot is as transparent as the walls at Krusty Burger (bonus points if you get my episodic reference). A young couple leaves medical school to have sex in a wooded location and their annoying stereotype friends go with them.

Of course, they picked the wrong cabin to go to because the "Anniversary" we're talking about is the fact that a year before a couple of people were offed in the same cabin. The killer got away scot free.

If there's anything I can offer this little film as solace, it's that there's some decent gore. Some nasty gunshot wounds, head explosions and other culinary delights await you, if you dare to suffer through this. It's moderately cool that the killer in this flick is a sniper, but nothing too novel. No boobs though, so you'll have to look elsewhere for that.

The actors in this movie are certainly trying. Interestingly enough, the film is directed by Mark Fischer, former MLB pitcher. He also stars in the film, and is pretty okay. This won't win any acting awards, but it's more the writing that ends up being the problem.

The rest of the film is filled with lame jump scares that aren't scary, and a ton of "what are you doing" moments that left me smacking my head. The characters are constantly tipped off that bad things are going to happen, and ignore the signs. And really, why the hell would you go to a cabin in the woods with your stupid friends when your hot lady friend wants you to get some business done with her?

These folks stumble around aimlessly like moths to a flashlight, getting themselves caught in completely avoidable situations. The movie tries to make you feel some emotional gravitas by throwing in some 'who would you kill if you had to' stuff, but it isn't nearly enough to make sense.

And don't even get me started about the killer here. The sniper looks like a complete idiot, a goon in a ridiculous theatre-esque mask and black hoodie. To top things off, the big reveal and twisty-twist ending is just asinine. I mean, I get it. The movie is trying hard to become a deep, sick and twisted deal and it simply doesn't work.
Video / Audio
The Extras
Last Call
Avoid this anniversary, please!
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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