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ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH
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Reviewed by: Mike Catalano

Directed by: Andrew Gernhard

Starring:
Kevin Shea
Sarah J. Ahearn
Greg Nutcher

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
There's a hairy big foot bastard on the loose in the vicinity of an old police precinct. Now, a large cast of flawed, evil, tough, and dorky characters are stuck dealing with the blood-hungry beast.

Is it good movie?
First off, please check your brains right at the door. Not for reading this review (I think), but in case you ever do decide to pop ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH into your dang DVD player. Because clearly, the makers of this flick weren't out to create some sort of monster classic for the ages. And that's cool with me... as long as there's some form of nicely devised story or comedy or action to sort of salvage. SASQUATCH doesn't necessarily miss the mark along the lines of those terms, but it doesn't really make a direct hit either.

I did appreciate the very wide range of characters that the filmmakers amassed for this story. Sadly, only about half of them actually work within the scenario and the big reason for that is because of the acting. Yeah, I know that this is a low budget flick and that top talent is not considered a possibility, but F*CK YOU! If you're totally committed to putting together your own version of a monster masterpiece, then you should do all that is humanly possible to make the performances come off as believable! If SASQUATCH wanted to be an all-out, campy schlock-fest, then I'd be a bit more forgiving, but that is not how this movie came off. If some of the performances came off as a bit more polished, then perhaps this review would have been a bit more positive.

At least the flick did deliver at a breakneck pace and didn't shy away from big dosages of gore. Plus, not all the performances come off as complete shit. I did enjoy Andrea Senz's portrayal of a bad-ass police secretary very much. This is what the movie needed more of: an actress that could deliver lines with ease as well as a swift kick to the head. No one else was able to match the fun and professionalism of Ms. Senz's performance.

I also liked the fact that the filmmakers went with a costumed Sasquatch as opposed to a computer-generated one. This at least made the proceedings much less cheesy than they already were. Plus, the costume was designed pretty well for a low budget flick with moving facial parts and all. I also appreciated the attempt by the script to actually tell some form of an actual story with some developed characters and a generally entertaining idea for a set-up. What I'm getting at is ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH wasn't a complete waste of time, which is more that can be said of other direct-to-DVD horror outings.

Video / Audio
Video Widescreen 1.33:1

Audio English dolby digital.

The Extras
Some bloopers that weren't that great.

A behind the scenes video documented by the two nerds from the flick that wasn't as silly or entertaining as their characters in the movie.

A music video for the soon-to-be classic Booty Poppin' that has our Sasquatch kickin' it at a club. It's actually pretty funny.

Lastly, some trailers.

Last Call
SASQUATCH did an ok job balancing the beam between horror, humor, and camp. It ain't the best big foot movie, but it also ain't the worst. The fun gore was offset by the crappy acting. This flick's a renter only.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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