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BEAST
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: Timo Rose

Starring:
Raine Brown
Timo Rose
Joseph Zaso

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
After a long period away from home, a dude named Alex returns home with some anger management issues. His sister is terribly concerned, especially when a bunch of werewolf hunters arrive with suspicions. Is Alex the Beast? More importantly, will you care?
Is it good movie?

You know when you have a really bad horror movie, and one of the victims is “terrified” as they walk around a room and twirl their hair while looking over their shoulder? There is not a single moment where you actually think they are terrified. You can almost hear the director yelling, “Okay, you are walking in the room. There is a scary man coming to get you… look around… be scared… that’s it! You’re such a talented actress… come by my place after work tonight.” Well that is what Beast is. Was there any script involved? This is just repetitive “action” where people are fighting, or a werewolf is chomping. And it is painfully dull. In fact, if a real human being turned into a real life werewolf and felt their insides burn and their flesh stretch and pull with bones breaking while the transformation occurs, I guarantee it is easier than watching this movie.

While director, writer and star Tino Rose might’ve been able to makes something out of this mess, he wastes too much time on too many characters that mean nothing. There is a woman who is worried about her brother who may or may not be a werewolf and that is really the only relevant story here. Actually, that sounds a bit like Cursed, the really bad Wes Craven movie, which ironically enough is like Citizen Kane compared to this mess. But there are a ton of other characters that really have no business mingling together. The performances are weak and the script is atrocious, so there is very little to get excited about. Even the promise of an “Uncut Limited Edition” is a major letdown. It all has to do with some garbage about werewolf hunters, and the dude they are looking for is this woman’s brother. If they had bothered to try and make somebody of interest, I would have cared… period. But alas, everything here is amateur hour.

Now is there anything worthy of anything? Well, I will say, as ridiculous as the score was, I kind of enjoyed the Goblin-esque sounds coming from Marco Werba and again, Timo Rose. The operatic chanting of “BEAST!” throughout the part orchestral and part synthesized sound was sort of Giallo inspired. It took me awhile to not sing along and laugh, but once I warmed up to it, I thought it would’ve been great if the film had been good. I also have to commend the attempt at gore. And guess who did the special make up effects? Yep, that would be Timo Rose. So when the box claims it is Timo Rose’s Beast, you can bet your arse that it is a Timo Rose flick. I’m guessing he did the catering too. And therein lies part of the problem. Mr. Rose is so involved in this horror opus that everything feels half-assed. I think the intention was right on, but the execution is just excruciating.
Video / Audio
Video: This 2:35.1 widescreen transfer is fine, being that the film looks cheap anyway.

Audio: It doesn’t mention whether this is Dolby Digital or anything like that, but whatever it is, it isn’t all that great.
The Extras
Occasionally, I’m happy if a film has little to no extras. Sadly, this one has a few. Although starting off is the absolute best thing about the disc. It is the lively and entertaining Audio Commentary with Joseph Zaso and Raine Brown. Ms. Brown seems like an energetic actress so I’d love to see her do something, you know, at least decent. She is actually capable of giving a decent performance within this film, so I give her props for that. And she seems very adorable in this commentary. And actor/producer Zaso is very entertaining also. This is truly the only way to watch this movie. I loved these two and their energy.

The Making of Beast (33:25) which is too many talking head shots with the actors talking about The Beatles or just making comments about the film. I would’ve loved to have seen more of a video diary of sorts about how Timo kept things chugging along. That would’ve been interesting.

Next up we have a bunch of Trailers for the film that include a main trailer, two teaser trailers and a couple more “Trailers”. They all give away much too much of the movie and wouldn’t have sold me on Beast at all. But hey, that may just be me.

A couple of could’ve been interesting additions include a VHX Reel (3:24) and The Score (2:21). Both are too short, and the score has terrible audio and really didn’t add any insight into the “BEAST!” score. Again, the score was pretty fun.

Finally, we have Slideshow 1, 2, and 3. Luckily, you don’t have to click the remote to watch.
Last Call
So Timo Rose worked very hard to make Beast. Too bad it so poorly made and incredibly dull. Yes, the score is fun and I think somewhere beneath all of this might have been a good flick. But the fact is that the script is all over the place with too many characters and most of the performances are so poor that this is really not worth wasting your time on. Even with people like Judy O’Dea (Barbara from the original Night of the Living Dead) thrown in, it doesn’t work at all. At least some of the gore was fun and don’t forget that catchy score… everyone… BEAST!!!
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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