BIKINI BLOODBATH CHRISTMAS
Reviewed by: Dave Murray
Jonathan Gorman, Thomas Edward Seymour
What's it about
The girls from Bikini Bloodbath and Bikini Bloodbath Carwash are back for a third ridiculous installment, just in time for Christmas! Working in Mrs. Johnson's Bong Shop, competing with the girls from the Christian Deli across the courtyard, and now trying to survive the rampage of a resurrected Chef Death, they do it all in hot bikinis, with an overdose of potty humor, and even some Krull jokes! Wait, what the...? Yep, Krull jokes.
Is it good movie?
I was at a loss as to where to start on this one. It's not an awesome movie, and it's not an entirely terrible one. It falls into that grey territory of being a ridiculous good time while grossing you out and leaving you feeling abused and even a little violated by the time the credits roll. The girls are hot (well, mostly), it certainly delivers on the "bikini" quotient, and the jokes and dialogue are laughably offensive and insanely silly. However, some of the gross out gags (mostly involving shit) literally made me gag (and never want an Oh Henry bar ever again), and the kills themselves left me in a very un-Christmasy mood.
The story is disjointed and all over the place, from the cross dressing owner of the bong shop to the Jesus freak who runs the Deli, from the skanky girls in bikinis to the cheesy rival Santa kung fu match, and finally to the half assed resurrection of the killer. The cast does what they can with the material, since the movie itself aims to be terribly bad on purpose. Debbie Rochon has a small role, returning from the previous film, but she is sorely underused this time around. And Lloyd Kaufman has a cameo as a pervy doctor which is pretty hilarious. But other than that, the story and acting are messy and laughably bad, which I hope is what the directors were going for.
One bad thing I did notice though was that a large majority of the nude and bikini scenes were pointless filler, and were recycled from the previous two movies. Did they really have such a little amount of new material? It took away from the vibe of the movie, which was rocking in a very offensive and cheesy way. Speaking of offensive, the poop jokes were a little too much, pushing the juvenile meter far into the red. Shit sandwiches, peanut chocolate log turds and a scene with a fake arse spewing diarrhea before intestines are graphically pulled out of it...well, I won't lie, I barfed in my mouth a little. I like potty humour as much as the next guy, but this time it just grossed me out and not in a funny way.
The kills themselves were handles very quickly, with quick cuts obscuring most of the gore and violence. They became as incomprehensible as the thread of the plot, and just as random. On the visual side, the flick looked okay (despite the aspect ration errors with the disc itself) and the sound wasn't terrible. The soundtrack was fun and the Krull jokes were hilarious. I love the movie Krull, so to see Colwyn, Rell the Cyclops and the Glaive make repeated appearances lampooning them was a nice nostalgic touch.
The only problem was is that it made me want to watch Krull instead.
Video / Audio
Video: The movie is in Widescreen, but it's hard to tell the ratio since the sides were expanded and cut off, even on a true widescreen TV. It seemed like a poor encoding job.
Audio: It was hard to tell, as it's not marked. In Dolby 5.1 it sounded like it was filmed in a cave, but the audio was okay in Dolby Stereo 2.0.
We get a well made Trailer that shows more promise than the movie can ever deliver on. We also get a Slideshow, some throwaway Outtakes, and a short Interview with the directors and producer Sheri Lynn, who also provide a pretty funny Audio Commentary, that was more enjoyable than the movie itself.
This slasher spoof has it's moments of laughs and hot girls, but with the story a complete mess, the acting way over the top, and the potty humor dragging the whole thing down, it never lives up to its superior predecessors. It was a fun time, but sadly easily forgotten. Plus the poor quality of the disc transfer was a letdown. All said, it was a somewhat funny movie, but with the lame kills and mostly flat humor, it just didn't rise above b-movie spoof territory. With a little more creative effort, it could have been awesome.