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BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE [BLU-RAY]
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Reviewed by: Ammon Gilbert

Directed by: Geoff Klein

Starring:
Cindel Chartrand
Danielle Doetsch
William Jarand
Suzi Lorraine

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A group of happy-go-lucky bikini-clad college girls are on their way to a bikini car wash fund raiser when their bus breaks down at an old abandoned gas station. Instead of sitting around and waiting for the bus to be fixed, they hold their bikini car wash at said abandoned gas station instead. Which would be fine if it wasn’t for the psychopath who lives there with a fetish for killing people and putting them on ice… literally.
Is it good movie?
BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE is the definition of awesomeness. For fans of gratuitous bikini movies to fans of classic slasher flicks, there’s little not to like about the flick. Not that there’s a whole lot to it as the title of the movie really does reflect it all. The film’s handled in a campy way that never takes itself seriously, features a cast of amateur hotties who are always in their bikinis, and a killer who is about as over-the-top as you can get, of which I appreciated immensely. For all the serial killer / slasher flicks that are made these days (yeah EXIT 33, I’m talkin’ to you!), take some notes from BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE, a film that knows exactly what it is and never tries to be more than simply just that.

Filmed on a shoestring budget, this flick has it all: from the opening bikini girl who gets an axe in the head to a gratuitous car wash sequence where the bikini girls also start washing each other, to the random other people who stroll into the gas station for nothing more than body count. BIKINI GIRLS reminded me of the early FRIDAY THE 13th films, with the obvious “good girl” being the film’s heroine, her slutty friend who gets slashed pretty fantastically, and a whole cast of hot yet unlikable chicks. And while most flicks you need to have the characters likeable to some degree, a slasher flick featuring chicks in bikinis doesn’t as you have to cheer the killer along when the body count starts to rise. For a small independent flick, my hat goes off to BIKINI GIRLS for nailing the slasher genre on the head.

Another great aspect of this flick is the killer himself. Apparently without motive, the crazy ex-mechanic with greasy long hair and a five o’clock shadow is just the kind of killer you need in a flick like this. Although a mask would have been cool, there’s no chance the killer could be one of the bikini chicks (so take out the whole lame mystery angle that always sets these type of flicks astray), and he’s never treated like a character the audience should sympathize with either. He’s a lunatic! He’s crazy! Who gives a f*ck if his mom beat him or his wife left, none of that matters! The killer here is just a killer, plain and simple. A killer who gets his rocks off by killing chicks in bikinis and pouring crushed ice all over their dead bodies while dry humping an ice machine. Who needs more than that???

With all this praise, it’s surprising the flick has any faults, but it does have a few. For starters, the acting is pretty atrocious through and through. Amateur hour through and through and while it definitely adds to the film’s appeal, it also takes a bit away from it all as well. Also, the gore is pretty weaksauce. Most kills are seen off screen and the ones that are seen spill very little of the red stuff. They could have gotten very creative in the kills here, but all of them were fairly basic. I’m sure it has to do with the budget (or lack thereof), but still…

And the biggest gripe? Not enough full-blown totally-topless nudity! While one chick gets naked and screws some douche in a PT Cruise convertible, her boobs don’t have a whole helluva lot of screen time. And while I appreciate the amount of bikinis here, there should have been more boob action. A gratuitous trying on the bikinis scene would have been perfect here, but alas… nothing. I wouldn’t necessarily call this movie a full-on tease, but… it kind of is.

But whatever, this isn’t soft-core or anything, it’s a slasher flick and I had a helluva lot of fun with it regardless of the few and far between crappy moments. The killer was awesome, the chicks were in bikinis, and it knew exactly what it was and was damn proud of it.

Video / Audio
Video: The film is presented in HD and it looks as glorious as to be expected.

Audio: The screams are mixed in a 5.1 Dolby Digital surround sound and while it's not epic or perfect, it still sounds pretty effin' good.

The Extras
Behind the Scenes: A few random snippets of the actors getting direction, getting their make-up, and getting background on the scene they're about to shoot. It's about as amateur as the film itself--but also just as fiendishly likeable and only lasts for less than 5 minutes.

Bloopers: As the title suggests, various snippets of the cast cracking up during line delivery or scenes that should have been super intense / serious. Like the Behind the Scenes, it's oddly enjoyable, but nothing is featured that will make YOU laugh.

Deleted Scene: Kelly's Death: Not so much a deleted scene as it is a behind-the-scenes shot of the first bikini girl with an axe lodged in her head and blood pouring out. Pretty weak all around and should have been included in one of the previous features as it's not a completed scene at all. and not nearly as awesome as you'd expected.

Audio Commentary: Get the scoop on the making-of this fine feature film with full-length commentary from the filmmakers.

Official Trailer: The trailer for the flick.

Last Call
A gratuitous slasher flick that isn't afraid to exploit the shit out of bikini-clad hotties six ways to Sunday, while still being a fun, entertaining ride. It's the most enjoyable dip I've had with the slasher genre in a while and should tickle the funny bone of slasher fans who like to have fun at the movies. Plus, any movie that lives up to a name like BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE spells awesome in my book!
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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