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BLOOD CAR
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Reviewed by: Dave Murray

Directed by: Alex Orr

Starring:
Mike Brune
Anna Chlumsky
Katie Rowlett

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
In the near future (about two weeks from now), gas prices have risen to almost $40 a gallon, and no one drives anymore. That is, until a crafty and quite insane kindergarten teacher, who's been working on a wheat grass engine, stumbles upon a new way to power his car: HUMAN BLOOD! This could prove to be a problem to his vegan morals. Strap in, grab some friends and get ready for one hell of a bloody ride! Sorry, I couldn't resist...
Is it good movie?
When it comes to independent, low budget movies, there are no shortage of really shitty flicks. But occasionally one will rise above the rim of the toilet bowl and become something greater than all of it's peers. And after having experienced director Alex Orr's comedy/social commentary/mental retardation fest Blood Car, I can say without sarcasm and with complete and total honesty: This is the best goddamned indie movie ever!

Now that I've got that off of my chest, let me lay this f**ker out for you (and yes, that is just how they refer to their movie in the DVD credits). For a low budget movie, this one sports a pretty awesome look. At times dreamy, and at others silly and comedic, the flick never fails to entertain on the stylistic side. On the story side, what you have to do is forget everything you know about traditional narrative storytelling, seriously suspend disbelief, and just enjoy the shit that goes down! I mean, seriously, there is a car, with a huge lawnmower like people mulvher in the trunk, that provides ample blood for the car to drive on. Wacky, I know, but underneath all of the insanity is a serious commentary on the gas guzzling society we live in. While not truly a horror movie, it does have some nice gory horror moments, while the rest of it is piss in you pants funny as hell while also offering a tongue-firmly-in-cheek perspective on love, sex, cars and government conspiracies. It does pay homage to some great movies (such as Goodfellas, alot of Roger Corman movies and even Rebel Without A Cause), but the kicker is the whole ending, with it's Godfather-like execution montage (it sounds sick, but who would have thought a government agent pumping bullets into kindergarten kids would be this hilarious). Going into this movie you kind of don't know what is coming your way, despite what you might think. This is some seriously talented filmmaking.

Acting wise, Mike Brune carries the entire movie with deft comic timing and some real invested emotion into his role as Archie the tortured vegan creator of the Blood Car. His performance really sells the whole flick, character wise. I can see this guy (and director Orr) going places. The big surprise here was the role of Lorraine the veggie stand girl, who is played by Anna Chlumsky (you will remember her as the little girl Veda from the My Girl movies!). Well, she's grown up, and is still one hell of an actress. This girl's got a trunkload of talent, and she seriously adds to the hotness factor of the movie. Rounding out the cast, aside from some expendable government agents, is Katie Rowlett as the meat girl, and the object of Archie's desire. She does an excellent job of playing the scheming girl who would have sex with someone just to ride in a car. Plus, any one that can utter the now immortal line "Put a taco in my mouth, and a di*k in my ass" and keep a straight face is one hell of an actor. I almost wet my pants. Seriously.

And the effects are the icing on the cake. The blood car itself, especially the trunk, is very nicely done (especially the scene of an agent hanging half out of the trunk, screaming and writhing as the blades do their work. Again, funny as hell. With a title like this, you know there's going to be a lot of fake blood. From little old ladies, to hitchhikers, to a garbage bag full of squirells and puppies (thanks to a scene, and a performance from Brune, that has to be seen to be believed). Nothing is safe from the hungry maw of the Blood Car!

Seriously, this is one movie that every horror fan needs to see. Not as silly as you would think, but actually sillier than anything else that you will see this year, it's charm lies in never taking itself seriously, and having nothing but fun reveling in the manic insanity that Orr and company splash onto the screen. This is the first full movie from Orr's Fake Wood Wallpaper, and I can't wait for more. I'm impressed, because as far as indie movies go, this is the cream that rises to the top. In fact, it's better than most big Hollywood movies released this year, whether they be horror or comedy, and that is saying something.
Video / Audio
Video: Anamorphic Widescreen - 1.85:1.

Audio: English (Dolby Stereo 2.0).
The Extras
There are two Audio Commentaries, the first one being by director Alex Orr and co-writer Adam Pinney, along with the hilarious Mike Brune and the articulate and insightful Katie Rowlett. The second commentary is a "scholarly" commentary by film critic Dr. Rutherford Thorpe, which I'm pretty sure is a gag. I don't know, this guy is so overblown and pretentious, but he does sound exactly like some film profesors I have met! There is also an hour long Behind The Scenes Featurette, which is mostly a collection of shots from the making of the movie (including a nice looking car rig and Anna Chlumsky in the shower). It ends with a long and mostly boring look at the making of the gallons of fake blood in the movie. If you like watching a guy empty the dregs out of pop bottles for 10 minutes, this is for you! Actually, it's pretty funny. Finally, there is the Trailer for the film, a short essay writen in "post-donut sanskrit" by Steve Palopoli (it's a short and funny read), the Short Film The Last Last and the Tribulations of Johnnybush, and a short Featurette which has Mike Brune declaring his intention to run for President! Hilarious stuff. These guys are nuts.
Last Call
If you like your horror/comedies to be goofy with a message, highlighted by a wacky concept, some great acting, tits and ass, buckets of blood, all wrapped up into an excellent movie, then see this one now. It's about as good as indie horror movies get, and quite possibly the best movie of its kind that I've seen all year. And that's weird, because I don't think I've ever seen a movie like it. Funny, well made, tongue in cheek bloody fun that is unapologetic, in your face and relentless. What more can be said really? Alex Orr and company have talent in the bank, and I'm sure their next effort will be something just as great. You'll definately enjoy this one, no matter what your tastes are.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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