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BLOODRAYNE: THE THIRD REICH
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Reviewed by: Pat Torfe

Directed by: Uwe Boll

Starring:
Natassia Malthe
Brendan Fletcher
Michael Pare
Clint Howard

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about

It's 1943 in the middle of WWII. Looking to get a leg up in the war against the Allies, the Nazis are cooking up a plan to make Hitler immortal. Turning towards vampire research, Nazi bigwig Commandant Ekart Brand and one of the SS's head scientists, Doctor Mangler, think it'd be a great idea to turn Der Führer into a human-vampire hybrid. But where do they turn to in order to get a specimen? Why, Nazi-wrecking, human-vampire hybrid Rayne, herself! Oh, and don't forget the gratuitous lesbian sex scene.

Is it good movie?

Just when you thought it was safe to watch films based on videogames, Uwe Boll makes another attempt at creating a worthy film based on a franchise that probably didn't need an adaptation. Or, in this case, another sequel. Yes, BLOODRAYNE: THE THIRD REICH marks the return of Rayne and her vampiric (and fanservice) ways. Kristanna Loken still isn't back for this one, leaving Natassia Malthe to once again slip on the leather. The big question, however: How bad is it?

Okay, I suppose I should find something entertaining about this film. Well, Clint Howard as the mad doctor is entertaining, albeit in an unintentional way. Let's face it, the guy does not keep up with his German-ish accent (then again, neither does Michael Pare) and goes about his business of acting in the film in a somewhat competent way (then again, so does Michael Pare). As for Pare, he's back again as another totally different character, and proves once again that he sold his soul to Boll. And for those who love skin, Malthe bares it and then some with a prostitute after the dhampir saves the girl from an asshole john.

Other than that, the film is predictably bad. As hinted at above, the acting ranges from adequate to just plain horrible. In this case, Malthe was obviously chosen again for her assets, and none of which involve acting. The action sequences, while somewhat entertaining, are brief, poorly choreographed and in some cases totally pointless. It's like Boll was trying to pad out the film's runtime and figured that seeing Malthe in various states of dress wasn't going to cut it. Speaking of which, another gratuitous sex scene involves Rayne and the leader of a resistance force against the Nazis macking it up in the back of a truck while being hauled away to a death camp. Really, you couldn't think of escaping and then f*cking?

But the film's worst aspect is that it's just boring. Really, between the blips of poorly-executed action and the exchanges between Pare and Howard, it's just talk. Not the deep, intriguing type of dialogue, either. This is the half-asleep porn star reading through their lines for the first time dialogue. This of course makes the gratuitous sexings stick out even more as time-killers, which in turn makes Boll look like a bigger fool for trying to draw out a poorly written and directed film that should have been left in more capable hands. In other words, anyone's but Boll's.

Video / Audio

Video: Presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, the film's palette consists of dull and dreary colours (it's in the middle of the war, after all), which the transfer replicates quite well. Black levels are kind of murky, and detail is average, but you do get the sense that there was a budget behind this film.

Audio: For the audio, we have a 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround, presented in either English or French. It's nice to have choices! The tracks make good use of the surrounds, although the score sometimes feels overblown in certain contexts. Still it's spread around the mix in a nice fashion. Dialogue is clean, clear, easy to follow.

The Extras

The first chance for Boll to defend his 'film' is in the form of an audio commentary with director Uwe Boll and writer Michael Nachoff Naturally, he dominates this track, and really gives it his all to try and explain his vision for the film. Boll even finds time to talk about his leads hooking up during filming, as well as letting his feelings be known on the working conditions behind the scenes of all three BLOODRAYNE films (including a drunk Michael Madsen). The whole track is an entertaining one, but I still don't buy the end result of what's on the screen.

We get more from the film's writer in a five-minute interview with Michael Nachoff. In the interview, Nachoff talks about his intentions with the script, the most surprising of which is his thought of having the film be like UNFORGIVEN, with Rayne being Clint Eastwood's character. Really.

Finishing things up is a twenty-eight minute Making of BloodRayne: The Third Reich documentary. Included are interviews with director Uwe Boll and stars Natassia Malthe, Brendan Fletcher and Clint Howard. On one hand, the cast seem to know what type of movie that they're making, but at the same time aren't very detailed with their comments. As if that's supposed to be a surprise when it comes to an Uwe Boll movie. As for Boll himself, he seems to know what he wants with this film and paints the process as an epic of sorts, which is fine for him. As for the rest of us, that's up for debate, as it seems more like hyperbole than anything.

Also included is the film's theatrical trailer and trailers for other releases from Phase 4. And yes, their logo still looks like a rip-off of the Fantastic Four's.

Last Call

It's Uwe Boll. It's a videogame adaptation that's being directed by Uwe Boll. Do I have to say anything more? If you want to check out an entertaining alternate history of WWII film, go rent INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. As for an entertaining videogame-to-film adaptation, you can do much better. Hell, as a vampire film , you can do better! The extras on the disc are both Boll's attempt to once again prove that he's trying and at the same time show that he's full of himself and an idiot.

ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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