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BLUBBERELLA
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Reviewed by: Pat Torfe

Directed by: Uwe Boll

Starring:
Lindsay Hollister
Clint Howard
Michael Pare
Uwe Boll

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about

It's 1940 and the Nazi machine is wreaking havoc the European continent. On the Eastern Front, a motley group of resistance fighters, led by Nathaniel and "Vadge", combat the Nazi scourge. The German army, headed by Nazi bigwig known as The Commandant, and one of the SS's head scientists known as The Doctor, hope to crush the resistance. Standing in the Nazis' way is Blubberella, a half-human half-vampire whose appetite for destruction is matched only by her appetite for food. Oh, and Boll shows up as Hitler.

Is it good movie?

PLEASE NOTE: As I write this, I'm currently either suffering from the flu or a case of food poisoning. Either way, this film doesn't do me any good for recovery.

OH SWEET MERCIFUL F*CK, NO. Who keeps giving Uwe Boll money to make these films?! Does he have a backer whose Swiss bank account is overflowing with money that it needs to be burnt? The man is obviously an internet troll come to life to torment Hollywood with his asinine video game adaptations, but why? I have no idea, but now we have BLUBBERELLA, a film that was shot at the same time with BLOODRAYNE: THE THIRD REICH. Using a sh*tty movie to make another sh*tty movie? Why the hell not?

The plot for BLUBBERELLA is, well, not necessary. It's really just an excuse for Boll to pepper loosely-connected scenes (think of Family Guy cutaways) with "jokes" about fat people, anti-Semitic and homophobic references (because those are always funny), followed by more fat jokes that are punctuated with intentional anachronisms and ZANY SOUND EFFECTS, OH BOY! And despite being touted as killing Nazis, Blubberella spends most of her time checking out dating websites, being with the resistance fighters and at one point playing board games with Hitler.

Now, some of you can read what I've said and say that I don't get it. You can say that Boll is doing what Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been doing for the past decade with South Park. You could also that this film is meant to be a parody of sorts, akin to SCARY MOVIE and the like. My response to that is a resounding "no". South Park is funny with its parodies (or was, until we started getting the creators' political views shoved down our throats). BLUBBERELLA, on the other hand, is not. SCARY MOVIE poked fun at successful films as well as the bad. BLUBBERELLA resorts to using tired gags like lazy pop culture references, pot shots at movie critics and referencing a bad movie that only those who've seen the film in the first place will get. The film is just a bad waste of time that even the cast knows isn't worth laughing over. Really, throughout the film, Boll has his own cast remark about how boring this film is in a vain attempt at poking fun at himself. Too bad it doesn't work.

I guess that if you really enjoyed the "humour" of POSTAL, then I suppose that you would enjoy BLUBBERELLA. Honestly, I couldn't care any less. The film was simply not funny and downright insulting on a variety of levels. On the other hand, I wish I knew where Boll was getting the money to make these films, as anyone that inept at how their finances are spent should be evaluated for their intelligence, since it's obvious that they have none. Much like this film.

Video / Audio

Video: Screener.

Audio: Screener.

The Extras

None, though the idea of using the DVD that the film came on as a pooper scooper is too obvious (and too good) for it.

Last Call

BLUBBERELLA is once again what happens when you give Uwe Boll money and go snort a line of ants. Terrible acting, jokes that are insulting and not at all funny, tired pop culture references and a lame attempt at poking fun at your own film is not what you'd want to spend your time subjecting yourself to.

ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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