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BORN KILLERS
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Reviewed by: Matt Withers

Directed by: Morgan J. Freeman

Starring:
Jake Muxworthy
Lauren German
Gabriel Mann
Tom Sizemore

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Two kids are brought up by their psycho dad to kill and steal. Eventually one of them tires of the partnership and ends it, but soon thereafter discovers he has a half-sister he's never met. So he goes to do some o'that killin' and stealin' all up on her. Instead they shag and he compares her to a snow day. Don't look at me, I didn't write it.
Is it good movie?
This movie was so damn mediocre that it's hard to write about it. I just didn't really care one way or the other. I mean when I saw it had Tom Sizemore in a small role, and the DVD had 6 trailers before the movie began, I just assumed it was going to be monumentally awful. Instead what I got was the cinematic equivalent of tofu.

There are some nice moments in the film, one in particular that makes sure no parent who sees it will ever leave their child alone in the car again. In fact, as I think about the scenes that stand out - a nice wrench kill, an incestuous coupling born from a door-to-door Morman disguise, Tom Sizemore explaining why belts are so useful - I almost forget how muted and bland the resulting film ends up. But outside of a strong performance from Lauren German (Hostel: Part II), there's nothing while watching it that is any tastier than generic vanilla ice cream.

I hate to beat a dead horse, so I'll just end this with a question: How many more chess playing sociopaths will we have to endure until that particular cliche gets retired for good?

Video / Audio
Video; 16x9 Widescreen

Audio: 5.1 and 2.0 Dolby Digital

The Extras
Trailers: Natural Born Killers: Director's Cut; Werewolf - The Devil's Hound; Boy Eats Girl; Invasion; Skinwalkers; Shattered
Last Call
You won't hate yourself if you check this out, but it definitely feels like the result of some talented people getting a chance to make their first idea out of film school. It has enough creativity in it to stand out from the completely disposable STD trash, but is so riddled with cliches, plot inconsistencies, and overwrought narration that the good ends up crippled by the boring.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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