HORROR DVD/BLU-RAY REVIEWS

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CANDY STRIPERS
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Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: Kate Robbins

Starring:
Brian Lloyd
Tori White
Deanna Brooks

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Some aliens land on earth, and body-jump into some scantily clad hospital volunteers, while injured teenagers in the hospital must escape the horror.
Is it good movie?
You know, to be honest with you, this movie is really not my type of flick. Don't get me wrong, I love a good horror movie, but the old 80's 'slumber party massacre', uber-cheese type movies never really suited my fancy. However, I can see why some people might like this type of movie, if it's done 'well', so I was more than willing to give this a go.

It doesn't work, and let me tell you why.

Of course, I guess it's a given that a movie like this would have terrible acting, so I can't really knock that, but its a fact. Another problem is that in a movie that should completely lead you by the hand, it actually doesn't tell you enough. The plot is extremely shoestring, and there was more than one time when my poor friend and I just ended up looking at each other and asking why/what just happened.

The characters, of course, are one-dimensional morons, and I must say that Nicole Rayburn's character was mind-gratingly, painfully, excruciatingly awful, and I must say that this didn't add any enjoyment at all. Yes, the acting and characters are terrible.

Of course, you must be wondering about the guts and gore, and I must also say that this is incredibly LAME. The girls get naked (kind of), hump their moronic prey, and this covers them in spider-webs to help give birth to their young. As the movie progresses, there's a lot of body parts being ripped and slashed, but the cuts are often so quick that they don't make sense, and often lack the 'cutting/slashing/ripping/ sound effect, so it comes off bizarre, even if it is squirting blood.

If there's anything to say that's good about this film, it's that it looks pretty, due to its decent budget. Effect and lighting are quite good, and the soundtrack's decent too. That's really about it though. This movie is just dull,dull, dull, and ultimately, that's its biggest downfall.
Video / Audio
Sony treats us to a nice 1:78 widescreen picture that I really appreciated, as it's one of the highlights of the movie.

The 5.1 Dolby track was ok, nothing special though.
The Extras
Extras? You want extras?

This movie has zilch, zero, nothing.

Nothing to see here. No EPK, No Commentary, nothin'.
Last Call
The DVD is bare bones. Fans of exploitation type flicks from the eighties might dig this, but I would imagine that even 16 year olds who manage to sneak this movie past their parents would find it a bit boring. For those of you who need their 'boobs and blood' fix, this might do, but I just thought it was far too boring, uninspired and poorly acted to be entertaining, even in a mindless way.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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