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COLD BLONDED MURDERS AND IRISH WHISKY
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: Sv Bell

Starring:
Mike Gingold
Suzi Lorraine
Isabelle Stephen

Movie:  
star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star
What's it about
A couple of short films; one is about some serial killing hottie and the other is about some dude telling a ghost story of sorts.
Is it good movie?

You can’t get any worse than this. I’m not kidding, this is bad… BAD! There wasn't a single thing worth watching in this, except for Suzi Lorraine. These are two short films that run about fifteen minutes too long.

First we have Cold Blonded Murder which is about some hot chick killing people. Aside from Ms. Lorraine’s looks there is not much interest to be held in this rather predictable and poorly written, acted and you name it, short film. It is just bad. Yes, I think they were trying to be tongue in cheek but there was nothing clever or remotely interesting here. What else can I say about this? Point and shoot directing, boring set. This “short” film was so ineptly done that it felt like an eternity. But wait… it gets worse!

Then we have Irish Whisky. What is the point of this atrocity? Some guy is telling some other guy some story about a greedy dude who hates spiders and then it turns into a really pathetic ghost story. Wow! This makes the first one look good. And this is dubbed too. Seriously, I don’t really know how to describe how bad these films were. The dialogue was lame and the actors I don’t even want to mention because I felt really bad for them. I think I need an Irish Whisky after that crapfest.
Video / Audio
The Extras
This screener has extras!!! OH BOY! We get another short film called Beavra! about a giant beaver. This was kind of funny for a minute. At least it didn’t take itself serious… at all.

Then we get Trailers for The Night They Returned, Sinners and Saints, Cursed Waters, The Diary and Off the Beaten Path. Some of these actually looked better than the “feature”; but not by much.
Last Call
I see a bunch of bad films. Really, I can’t even count them. But I think these two may have been the worst, if not the worst at least a pretty close contender. So if you want to see a bad movie, just to get drunk and laugh your ass off because it’s such a miserably bad flick. Well, get something else because these two shorts will take away precious time that you can never get back.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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