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CRAWLER
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: Sv Bell

Starring:
Deke Richards
Heidi Hawkins
Keir Cutler

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A construction crew rent a crawler to help with building a golf course. But there is something not quite right with the evil bulldozer from hell. Well, maybe not from hell, but some guys garage.
Is it good movie?

Okay, here’s the deal, this construction crew is building a golf course or something, and they need a “crawler”. A crawler is a big ole’ bulldozer and if you don’t play safe with it, it could do some damage. That is why you should always wear a helmet. Always! But when you watch a movie called Crawler, there is another warning that might be appropriate… Be warned, do not think at all while watching this movie. Not only does this bulldozer sport tentacles or something of that sort, but it leaves these pods in it’s seat. One of the construction workers, a fellow named Karl (Keir Cutler) develops a thing for this piece of machinery and feeds off the pods. Oh yeah, the guy who owns the crawler mentions that this thing is named Rita and it uses a “glamour” spell so people cannot see its true nature. So here is the question… if you are a demonic monster thingy that can do a glamour spell, why not make yourself into something really cool so that people will want to get near you? Just a thought.

I am guessing that it is clear that I wasn’t completely loving this flick. But before I get too far, I have to say that even though it was pretty bad, I had the occasional smile cross my face. Why? Well, I guess it is one of those ‘so bad, it’s good’ situations (calling Jason Adams… I got another one for ya). It reminds me of some of those insanely bad movies from the 80’s, like Blood Beach. Not one single character makes the right decision. Nobody attempts to call the police when people are dying for unexplained reasons. And to top it off, when the crazy feller tells everyone to get away from the bulldozer after finding it covered with some kind of alien like substance, they all sort of walk away and believe the guy. Really??? This thing looks like it just had a fight with the queen in Aliens but you’ll just walk away and not call anybody? And speaking of aliens, what exactly is this thing? We never see the monster that it truly is, only occasional glimpses at the tentacles… or were those testicles?

Now I did mention that I had fun correct? Well, yeah, kinda. I thought the two leads were kind of likeable. Both Deke Richards and Heidi Hawkins grew on me quite a bit. The obligatory sex scene was odd, but hey, sometimes you gotta get laid. And as for the gore, when it finally kicks in, there are a couple of groovy shots as a few peeps get bulldozerd. There are quite a few bloody piles of stumps in the last half. And I also appreciated the look of the film, especially for a low budget feature like this. Director Sv Bell takes advantage of some beautiful scenery and such. Although I wasn’t too sold on some of the “action” sequences, but it looked as if budgetary constraints played a big role in that. Basically, this comes down to whether you like yourself a silly movie that takes itself very seriously. Crawler is simply, a very cheesy, low budget monster, machine, man vs. bad stuff movie. Will the bad stuff win? You’ll have to find out.
Video / Audio
The Extras
Last Call
It’s a big, bad bulldozer that kills people. Or is it? Well, by the end, you won’t really care too much. The script is all over the place and not one single character seems to act rationally. But this is not really meant to be a smart thriller, it’s a horror movie about a killer bulldozer with tentacles. And what about the ghost of the murdered girl? Who cares? It’s a killer bulldozer that zaps people with electricity, hatches ugly alien pods and runs people over leaving bloody waste behind it. It brought a smile to my face at the sheer audacity of it all. It’s not just bad… it’s good bad. Just have plenty of drinks beforehand. Oh yeah, there is some lovely cleavage on display thanks to the very attractive Heidi Hawkins… and the crawler’s naked tentacles too.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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