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CROC
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: Stewart Raffill

Starring:
Michael Madsen
Peter Tuinstra
Sherry Phungprasert

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A beach resort off the coast of Thailand is being terrorized by a man-eating crocodile. It is up to Michael Madsen to kick some croc ass and save the locals.
Is it good movie?
It’s a rip-off of Jaws. Does that answer your question? No eh. Well, it’s a very weak Jaws imitation but I’ve seen worse. So there you have it. The truth is, so much of this film is borrowed from other “just beneath the waters surface” films that it feels a bit tired and dull. You have the seaside town with locals disappearing. You have one of the guys who knows the area and at one point, he is blamed for the deaths. And you have the guy that’s a mondo badass who is going to track this monster down. Hell, they even ripped off that great scene in the cult-classic Alligator (easily my favorite killer gator movie). So nothing is original here.

To tell you about the plot is almost a waste of time. There is a major sense of déjà vu here, except the Roy Scheider character is some dude that runs a Sea World type attraction. He has folks that work for him and a possible girlfriend that is assigned to shut down his business. Cliché after cliché, it’s all here. In one of the most ridiculous scenes, when the five line or less guy comes and warns people to get their kids out of the water, they take their time. When the brat kid refuses, guess what pops up? It’s actually kind of creepy, because the kid is still alive for awhile until he is finally dragged out by the croc to sea (in the mouth of the monster the whole time). There are a ton of plot holes and dumb characters that never elevate this to anything besides a dull cable movie. And least impressive, are the “bad guys” played by Tawon Saetang and Wason Junsook. These two guys couldn’t die fast enough, their performances were painfully bad. I guess it could have been the script that is partially to blame.

Did I like anything here? Yeah, I guess so. I liked Michael Madsen who shows up at about thirty minutes in. He was fun to watch and he did pretty good work considering the script. I also thought that some of the other actors were fine, including Peter Tuinstra, Sherry Phungprasert and Scott Hazell. The rest of the cast were mixed. I also kind of dug the crocodile footage. Instead of too much CG, they opted for live footage of the croc several times. Not that there was no CG at all, there was, but they did show a whole bunch of 100% real croc. Yet it was so obvious that the real croc was nowhere near the actors, it kind of took a bite out of the suspense.
Video / Audio
Video: This Widescreen transfer looked pretty good considering the quality of the film.

Audio: The Dolby Digital is also good. You could do much worse for a made for cable flick.
The Extras
This Croc came up empty. But there are a few trailers for “Furnace”, “Maneater”, “In A Spider’s Web” and “Blood Monkey”.
Last Call
A clichéd man vs. nature flick with a few nice shots of a crocodile and some competent leading actors. The problem is that there is nothing original here. The direction is strictly by the numbers and the bad guys are laughably bad. If this were on television, and absolutely nothing else is on, this might be worth a glance. Maybe just to see Michael Madsen cash a check and some obviously fake special effects. Or maybe just re-watch Jaws, Alligator or the original Pirahna and you’ll have a better time.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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