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DEAD BODY MAN CHRONICLES
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Reviewed by: Ryan Doom

Directed by: Ryan Cavalline

Starring:
Eddie Benevich
Debbie D
Joel D Wynkoop

Movie:  
star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
The story of a nut job who gets sent to a mental home and has random, idiotic encounters with Nazis, chickens, and a talking TV porno stars.
Is it good movie?
All movies require certain, interchangeable required elements. Plot. Characters. Drama. But thereís an additional component all films need: Morals. Iím not saying a movie needs to preach to an audience to prove a theme or even have good, Mayberry-like characters, but all films require some sort of shared ethics common to all humans. Despite differences between us, we all have a societal sense of right and wrong. Within a film, at least one character must express these notions. Without them, weíre screwed.

So whatís the reason for this film lesson of the day? Dead Body Man Chronicles. Besides the moronic title, a movie like Dead Body Man Chronicles appears to exist solely for the sake of shock: Little kids drinking; babies being born on a stripper stage; babies (obviously a doll) being thrown and having a gun pointed at it; mentally-ill, masturbating patients. Iím sure thereís an audience out there for this sort of trash. Iím just not sure who they are. And I question what sort of morals they own. I obviously love horror as long as it uses a balancing act, something the best movies do. They can shock, disturb, be ridiculous, but at the same time, express commentary on something, anything. Even a film like The Naked Gun, the most ridiculously stupid movie ever, expresses a grounded main character. He still has ethics and morals.

Now back to Dead Body Man Chronicles. Only one word describes a film like this Ė shit. Thatís right. This is beyond awful. At an one hour and 45 minutes, I started thinking what I could do thatís worst than watching this. Maybe a Culture Club documentary. Or a Bette Midler marathon. Or a watching the bread on my counter mold. Anything, anything is more entertaining than this shit. Watching the supposed adventures of a serial killer named Willie and his bad wig. I realize this film has zero budget, which explains the mediocre acting and crappy quality. However, even with poor production quality, a film can be worth watching. It can entertain. It can shock. It can horrify. This does none.

Honestly, I have nothing positive to say about Dead Body Man Chronicles. Iím saving you time by keeping the review short. At least this way you wonít waste the amount of time I already have. Feel lucky and go buy a lottery ticket.
Video / Audio
Video: A crisp and cheaply clear Widescreen presentation.

Audio: Presented with the power of 2.0 Dolby Surround.
The Extras
Commentary: Director Cavalline defends his film stating that the ridiculousness of it all is the point. I donít disagree. He states it the movie does what it can, operating on a micro budget. I donít disagree. I just have a difference of opinion when it comes to one word. Lets seeÖoh yeah, quality.
Last Call
Iíve watched a lot of f*cked up horror movies during my tenure here at AITH. Even the worst ones usually at least have good production values and morals. Dead Body Man Chronicles has none.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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