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DIAGNOSIS: DEATH
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Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: Jason Stutter

Starring:
Raybon Kan
Jessica Grace Smith
Bret McKenzie

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
A couple of terminal cancer patients (a crooked English teacher and a hot 18 year old schoolgirl) spend a weekend in a weird locked-down facility under the watch of a weird nurse named Bates. They get loaded with all kinds of drugs and start experiencing all kinds of nightmarish visions. Are they real, or are the visions of the dead writer and her son coming for them?
Is it good movie?
Well, this movie had bad news written all over it when I read the quote on the jacket that it's "As Funny as Shaun of the Dead". That's a serious claim and let me tell you, this movie is not as funny as Shaun of the Dead- end of story. This one is sort of a horror flick for fans of TV's "Flight of the Conchords" and have many of the players in it, although most are relegated to bit parts or cameos. The best of the bunch is the awkward and hilarious Rhys Darby, who plays a slightly insane hospital worker.

The problem with horror comedy is that it needs to balance a good mix of horror and comedy, otherwise it's just a horror movie or a silly parody. This movie just isn't very funny, and it certainly isn't scary. in my opinion. The leads (Raybon Kan and Jessica Grace Smith) are both awkward, which really hurts the film because it subtracts from the main idea. The movie is also really straightforward and doesn't feature any real surprises, and the whole "who wrote the novel" plot pales in comparison to Nurse Bates, who is the best part of the movie (the chick is scary!).

Honestly, I tried to like this movie more because I like the crew involved and the style of humor is suited to my own, but even though the humor is black and the one-liners are deadpanned and dripping with sarcasm, I just felt this movie didn't live up to that lone claim on the back of the box.
Video / Audio
Video is presented in 16 x 9 widescreen and looks decent, although the film is low budget.

Audio comes in the industry standard of Dolby 5.1 and the sound effects come through loud and clear, worked for me.
The Extras
Nothing, zilch. Well, you do get Spanish subtitles, what more do you want?
Last Call
At the end of the day, this is a middling effort that ends up being overlong at only 80 minutes. The movie promises big but whiffs when it comes up to bat and unfortunately, it is not likely worth your time.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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