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For them to work properly, these type of movies need to balance out the cheesy bad acting and sappy dialog with ample amounts of action, effects, death, gore, and kills. And while DINOSHARK offers a number of fun sequences featuring said Dinoshark jumping out of the air and eating people, parasailors, boats, and more people, it treads too much on been-there, done-that territory. And not because we’ve seen this all before in other SyFy originals but that we’ve seen it all before in DINOSHARK! The same set-ups, camera angles, and special effects are used in just about every Dinoshark kill throughout the entire movie to the point where the kills and the Dinoshark action gets repetitive and boring. And boring is the one thing you don’t want to find in a monster movie like this.
But what about the cheese level? Eric Balfour does his thing and is easily the best actor in this movie, giving a solid performance that you’d expect from Eric Balfour—no more, no less. Everyone else, however, are pretty awful in terms of their acting abilities and delivery of dialog. The biggest offenders going to Iva Hasperger, who plays the scientist / girl’s polo coach / love interest, a chick who’s very smart and yet very stupid all at the same time (and is hot… but not ridiculously hot), and … well, just about everyone else, I guess. Either the acting is shoddy or it’s too over-the-top, but whatever it is, it’s never spot on. And it’s never so bad it’s good, it’s mostly just so bad that it’s practically unbearable to watch.
And that’s where the movie fails the most: it’s boring. No bigger offender for a movie like this than to have it be boring. At 90 minutes, there shouldn’t be any wasted time, and yet the majority of the movie is wasted on Balfour and Hasperger sitting around feeling sorry for themselves and trying to solve the mystery of the Dinoshark then trying to convince others that the Dinoshark exists that it just becomes boring. It’s not interesting, there’s nothing happening for most of the movie, the exchanges between characters is downright silly and unappealing, and there’s not even a scene of gratuitous nudity to help us through it all (afterall, it was made for TV).
So really, the only thing the movie has going for it is the Dinoshark itself and even though I have my complaints, there are some cool elements at play here. The effects are pretty solid (better than most Asylum movies), and the fact that it’s a shark with a T-Rex’s face is f*cking awesome. And while most of it is shoddy CGI they even bust out a few practical effects when kills are done up-close that I totally appreciated. Plus, the Dinoshark jumps out of the water multiple times, once to get over a barge and the other to eat a helicopter, both of which were pretty fun to behold. And the final action sequence between the Dinoshark and Balfour was pretty dope… if only
Audio: The horrendous musical score is bumpin’ out in a 5.1 Dolby Digital mix that does the job ok enough, though the dialog is way too quiet in contrast to the scenes of Dinoshark feasting on people and wreaking chaos and destruction. But for the most part, it’s about standard.
And if you’re really so-inclined, you can check out the Trailer, which cuts together all the cool moneyshots of the film in an easy-to-view 2 minute trailer.