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FEAST 3: THE HAPPY FINISH UR
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: John Gulager

Starring:
Clu Gulager
Craig Henningsen
Diane Goldner

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Those well endowed beasties are still chowing down on human folk in a small town. But luckily, there are a few more folks to get mutilated so it looks like soups on... oh yeah... WTF is with the giant robot?
Is it good movie?
Wow! I really am sort of impressed. You want to see a little person ripped in half? You want to see somebody’s head eaten and then crapped out a monsters ass… CLOSE UP? Or how about a fellow raped by a giant monster schlong? Well if that sounds groovy to you, I think I may have found the movie made for your liking. As I was watching Feast 3: The Happy Finish, I felt as if I had just enjoyed a gory monster flick directed by John Waters. The characters are all reminiscent of some of Mr. Waters films, including the franchise regular “Biker Queen” (played by Diane Goldner) who would’ve fit right into say, Desperate Living. While the original Feast seems to have a cult following and is really a good scary monster flick, many have discarded the sequels. And while I missed part 2, I will say that I had a pretty decent time with this.

Part 3 takes place right after the second, and once again, a bunch of unlikable losers are battling a handful of beasties that want to rip and shred some human prey. So you say you want to be able to like the people in a horror movie? Well that seems to be kind of the point to this as the main players are, for the most part, self involved and will screw you over in a second to survive. And once in awhile, one of the good guys comes along and is almost certainly dispatched in a gorific way. My favorite of these happens to turn one of the most clichéd type of scenes into something that is laugh out loud shocking. And since it involves a character named “Shitkicker” (John Allen Nelson), it gives you a clear idea of what you are dealing with here.

The Feast series is guaranteed to offend quite a few folk, but I’m guessing most of those folk wouldn’t be reading this review. And it seems like director John Gulager may have taken a step back after killing a toddler in part 2 in terms of offensive material. The gruesome display, while it may be over the top, probably won’t sicken fans of this genre too much. But what I really appreciated about this here film was it just starts on one level and keeps bringing the bloodshed and violence up nonstop, with a couple of slow parts in between. At the same time, this is also the films downfall, as it really feels a bit one-note and repetitive. While it may not become the surprise hit that everybody and their mother has to see, and it might not even be a “good“ film, it will certainly please fans of gore and utter tongue-in-cheek lunacy. It is a mess of a film, but not always in a bad way. This is the kind of flick where you can turn everything off and sit back and laugh… and of course cringe. Happy finish? I guess I was happy enough.
Video / Audio
Video: This is a nice 1:85.1 widescreen transfer, although it gets a little too dark in places. This is probably by design, but it is slightly distracting.

Audio: This Dolby 5.1 is also good and it makes all the flesh ripping sound even more nasty.
The Extras
As far as special features, we get a pretty entertaining Commentary from Gulager, franchise writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan and producer Michael Leahy. They seem to be fairly proud of this franchise, but at the same time act as if they are playing a practical joke on the audience. I’m not sure all audiences will be in on it though.

Next up, we get A Look Back at John Gulager (8:31) which is a surprisingly creative interview with the man who won “Project Greenlight” and now has an oddball franchise on his hands. This mostly focuses on the contest and his ultimate win more than anything. Still definitely worth checking out.

Trailers include “Pulse”, “Feast”, “Pulse 2”, “Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds”, “The Wizard of Gore” and “George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead”.
Last Call
Feast 3: The Happy Finish is one helluva bizarre movie experience. It is almost constant boobage, bloodshed and violence with mostly unlikable characters and a gigantic robot (?) but it tells its tale with so much joy that I had some fun with it. It is certainly not the cult classic that the first truly was, but it seems like it might be tailor made for horror fans who have a penchant for early John Waters’ films. That would include a monster rape scene with the character named Slasher… Mr. Waters might even be inspired by this.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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