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GUARDIAN OF THE REALM
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Reviewed by: Rees Savidis

Directed by: Ted Smith

Starring:
Glen Levy
Tanya Dempsey
Lana Piryan

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
The Guardians (a secret, centuries old group of demon hunters cobbled under the moniker C.O.R.E), come face-to-snarling-face with one bad mother of a rubber-suited baddie as they struggle to keep the world – the world as we know it – from falling into eternal darkness.
Is it good movie?
Anyone remember The Guyver? Yeah? Well think that, plus Men in Black mixed in with a little bit of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by way of The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers and you’d be about half-way to understanding where Guardian of the Realm is coming from. Hey, it’s like movie association day here at the mighty arrow! Sounds like it might be a half decent schlock-fest don’t it? And it is - a few painfully misguided moments aside. Lord help us, Guardian of the Realm actually works? For the most part, yes. If you can get through a rather plodding first hour, you’ll be rewarded (more or less) by an ambitious and gleefully campy third act that seems as though it’s been ripped straight out of the pages of a pulp sci-fi comic. Now that’s just about as glowing a review as this film is likely to get – or deserve for that matter.

I’ve been abnormally harsh on some of the films I’ve reviewed lately (primarily because they’ve sucked ass) and as a result, horror movie moral has been on a sad and steady decline here at the Savidis house-hold. I decided I needed something fun and light, so after doing a bit of research on Guardian of the Realm (read: I watched the trailer) and liking what I saw, I purposely left it waiting in the on-deck circle as I tore new assholes into a stack of other DVD’s. I had a good feeling about the film, I don’t know why exactly, but it looked like might be just the thing I was craving – I hoped. After getting the snotty end of the f**k-stick from all manner of cheap, amateurish and downright awful cinematic abortions, I was more than a little pleased with how Guardian of the Realm turned out to be. Believe me; no one was more surprised than me.
Video / Audio
The Extras
Last Call
While Guardian of the Realm is certainly an el cheap-o, mindless, and at times, laughably bad time waster, writer / Director Ted Smith does manage to pull a pretty good-spirited genre mash-up out of his ass just in time to save it – mostly.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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