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HACK JOB
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Reviewed by: Ryan Doom

Directed by: James Balsamo

Starring:
Dave Brockie
Lloyd Kaufman
and Oderus Urungus

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Two guys get the best horror script ever from the devil, which happens to be a trilogy of stories. Wouldnít that make it the best three horror tales ever?
Is it good movie?
A movie meant to be tasteless is a little hard to judge. Itís supposed to be bad. Itís supposed to unwatchable. Itís supposed to be so gritty that it feels you could have made it in the backyard with a camera, a 24-pack of Pabst, and a few friends who donít mind acting a fool. Everyone knows the budget is zero and the result is supposed to look like shit.

Here we have Hack Job from first time writer director James Balsamo, who seems to have gone to the Kaufman school for filmmakers. The movie looks about as cheap as a movie could possibly look, which hinders any possible entertainment that could exist. Iím sure funny parts exist, but I canít recommend this for the general public. I just canít. Sure, thereís a lot of breasts (always a nice bonus to keep the audience in tow) and plenty of gore, but honestly for how many horror fans is that enough? 1.89%? Maybe 2.3 %? It has got to be low. And if the target audience is that low, it makes judging this type of movie objectively difficult to say the least, but thatís what Iíll try and do.

SoÖHack Job sucks. Itís more or less unwatchable not only because itís not interesting, but the quality could be the worst of any movie Iíve ever seen. In fact, I had to crank my stereo just to barely hear the audio. Seriously, I think my grandfatherís home movies from the 80s were more cinematic. From there things only get stranger and spotter, much like a new carpet playing host to a puppy.
Video / Audio
Video: A crisp and clear 16x9 Widescreen presentation.

Audio: Presented with the power of 5.1 Digital Surround
The Extras
Blooper Reel has what it says it has...bloopers!
Last Call
Now before I get out of hand, I donít enjoy trashing a movie. I feel for folks who put in time and effort to create something they thought was super. But that doesnít mean you should waste your time. Donít.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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