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HEADER
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Reviewed by: Rees Savidis

Directed by: Archibald Flancranstin

Starring:
Jake Suffian
Elliot V Kotek
Melody Garren

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Header is the worst thing one human being could do to another; it’s the last word in revenge. If someone does you wrong, so wrong in fact, that you’ve exhausted every possible recourse…you throw a Header on the sumbitch!
Is it good movie?

What is the Matrix?

Who is Darkman?

What’s a Header?

Questions; designed to either gather information, act as sarcastic or ignorant redundancy or, to plant the seed of curiosity. In the case of the three listed above; they’re sole purpose resides in the latter. By now we all know who Darkman is and if I need to tell you what The Matrix is, you were either born this year or you died in ’98, but that third one, the question of “What’s a Header?” that one is interesting. Because you see, if I tell you what a Header is…well that would just ruin the fun of it.

It’s like talking about Fight Club (witch I did not just do by the way) – you don’t do it! No, Header should be seen for one’s own self; in fact, Header needs to be experienced, at least once. It’s similar to something like Cannibal Holocaust in the sense that, while no one really needs to see it per say, everyone should. Once! But to go any further than that, and re-watch a film like that, over and over again, might make folks around you a little…cautious - if you know what I mean. It’s the same with Header; long after the shock of seeing it for the first time wears away, you might find its entertainment value a little difficult to justify.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a ferociously engaging flick and damned well made to boot…but Christ-on-a-bike is it tough to f**kin’ stomach! When Pinhead proclaimed “I have such sights to show you!” in Hellraiser, I wonder if he was talking about some special room, tucked away in a forgotten corner of Hell, where damned souls throw Headers for all eternity? Seriously, Header has got to be seen!
Video / Audio
The Extras
Last Call
I am honest-to-god frightened of any film that has the cajones to one-up Header; it’s a film that proudly shits in the lap of shock-cinema and says, “Go ahead, do your worst!”
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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