HORROR DVD/BLU-RAY REVIEWS

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Reviewed by: Andre Manseau

Directed by: Pete Jacelone

Starring:
Raine Brown
Alan Rowe Kelly
Marv Blauvelt
Carl Burrows

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
This half hour short involves a doctor's office. A new doctor goes into a dirtbag practice where the doctor drinks and the nurse looks like she's in a Halloween costume. A couple of patients frequent the place, including a woman who performs self-surgery and a couple of hicks who are convinced they're pregnant with an alien baby.
Is it good movie?
If you laugh at really crude and lowbrow humor, you'll like this short. I'm not sure what the point is, but this half-hour short didn't produce a single laugh from either me or the other three people I watched it with. In fact, one of them left the room and looked at me like I had 3 heads for watching something so stupid.

I wish I could say I disagreed with them, but I can't. Every minute of this 32 minute feature just falls flat. The acting is terrible and every character is a stupid, goofy stereotype which makes the movie hard to watch. The new doctor is a germophobe! Can you imagine what it's like when that wacky, uptight doctor walks into that office that breaks every rule? I bet you can't! All heck breaks loose! It all comes to a head when a wacky twist is revealed and some cheap effects ensue.

Anyway, that's about it. You meet the alien hicks early on and they're not funny. Goofy hicks who have buck teeth and think they've been abducted by aliens?! Hu-hyuck! The big fat, gross old woman who cuts out her own problems before the doctor can diagnose them? Only in this office! Anyway, I have nothing else to say about this.
Video / Audio
The Extras
The disc features 3 (slightly) different versions, none of which are much different- the anthology version, script version and director's cut.

There's also the full interview with "Babb", which is a mock news interview that you see in the feature itself. Two full minutes of hick overacting at its best!

On top of that, you get 10 agonizing minutes of news interviews with every other character in the movie.
Last Call
I'm not sure if this is all part of a greater good that I don't know about but this one really fell flat for me. I always feel bad when I rip an indie effort a new one but this is absolutely not my kind of short film. I didn't so much as giggle at the humor, the gore and effects range from cheap looking to terrible and nothing really happens story-wise. Sorry guys, this is a big miss for me.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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