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I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
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Reviewed by: Jamey Hughton

Directed by: Chris Sivertson

Starring:
Lindsay Lohan
Julia Ormond
Neal McDonough

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
When virginal teen Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) goes missing after the homecoming football game, local police believe she’s fallen prey to a serial killer who has been scooping up the town’s good-looking high school girls. Days later, Aubrey is found in a highway ditch, having been tortured and relieved of two of her appendages. She has also developed multiple personalities (or... not?), and claims she is not Aubrey Fleming - but Dakota Moss, a New York City stripper. This is where things start to get weird.
Is it good movie?
I KNOW WHO KILLED ME is a baffling film that takes itself way too seriously and suffers dearly because of it. Director Chris Silvertson crams the movie with obvious visual cues and seems to be trying to achieve a surreal, dreamlike quality with the tone, but the movie’s lackluster script (by Jeffrey Hammond) and acting (by various parties) ensure that the audience will be more annoyed than intrigued.

Lohan’s (dual?) lead performance is just one of the flat aspects of I KNOW WHO KILLED ME. As both Aubrey and Dakota, she seems disconnected, although to be fair there isn’t one character that seems real in the movie. One of the main - hell, only - selling points is that she has a stripping scene as Dakota, but if you’re expecting any shots of a nude Miss Lohan, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Other usually reliable actors left adrift in this dreary thriller include Julia Ormond and Neal McDonough as Aubrey’s parents, and Brian Geraghty as her boyfriend.

We also get treated to gory scenes of Aubrey’s torture at the hands of her kidnapper, which gives the movie a tasteless wannabe-SAW streak. Otherwise, director Sivertson seems to be aiming for David Lynch, with a stylized look that emphasizes strong colours and visual symbolism. If I had bought into the alluring look of I KNOW WHO KILLED ME, I imagine the rest would have been a lot easier to take. The movie wants to be a mood piece, but it completely falls apart long before the closing surprises are revealed. The result is a vacuous, silly thriller with a sense of self-importance replacing any notion of pacing or suspense.

As the movie nears its end, Hammond’s screenplay spits in the face of logic more than once with loopy twists that get more ridiculous upon examination. Sivertson and director of photography John R. Leonetti give the movie a sparkly sheen but the constant use of color-based imagery (Aubrey’s scenes feature blue everywhere, Dakota’s red) grows tiresome quickly. I KNOW WHO KILLED ME is a total failure in storytelling; a movie where the style drowns the substance out to such a degree that you eventually don't give a damn what the movie was about in the first place.
Video / Audio
Video 2:40:1 Widescreen Presentation

AudioEnglish and French Dolby Digital 5.1, optional English, French and Spanish subtitles
The Extras
Extended Strip Dance Scene See Lohan stumble around a pole in a strip club for a couple minutes longer than in the theatrical version. The same problem remains though: Lohan still doesn’t remove any of her clothing.

Blooper Reel Actors goof up their lines. I thought these things were supposed to be funny?

There’s also an Alternate Opening and Alternate Ending for the film, both of them brief and changing very little how it all went down in the film. Don’t bother.
Last Call
I KNOW WHO KILLED ME is a real head-scratcher. The movie has the look of an art film, but in most other regards it feels like it was cooked up by chimpanzees. It's an appropriate movie to help sum up the state of Lohan's personal and professional career, because it's a complete train wreck.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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