HORROR DVD/BLU-RAY REVIEWS

…laid to rest.

A young girl with a penchant for fresh corpses ventures to the sleepy town of Port Oram to take up the position of undertaker at the local funeral parlor. She also takes the position of doggy-style and missionary…with the dead!

Holy shit, no! If there is a “good movie” center in the universe, ‘I’ll Bury You Tomorrow’ is the point that is farthest from it. What this film is is an over-long exercise in ultra-low budget, ultra-low brow filmmaking. If necrophilia is your idea of a party, then brother, ‘I’ll Bury You Tomorrow’ is where the ugly lights come on. I sort of thought that ‘Nekromantik’ was the be-all-end-all of dead body porn…boy was I wrong. This film takes the ideas presented in Jorge Buttgrereit’s very suspect “classic” and strips away any semblance of story that film was trying for, opting instead to just offend the eyes and soul of this poor, unsuspecting reviewer.

Now that’s not too say that I’m some sort of prude, I most certainly am not. Gore and boobies are like mother’s milk to me, I just don’t get how a film as painfully executed as ‘I’ll Bury You Tomorrow’ can be construed as entertaining. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a cheese-grater to the nuts. Misguided, long winded writing, poor direction, novice camera work and acting that could give a porn-star promise do not a good film make. Sorry, but that’s just how it is. On a somewhat sunnier note, the special effects weren’t too shabby and there were ample amounts of gore being thrown around with reckless abandon, including a mighty juicy axe attack that woke me up long enough to remember to write it into this review.

VIDEO: We get a 1.85:1 transfer that looks like it was filmed on Scotch Tape.

AUDIO: The audio is presented in a serviceable 2 channel Dolby.

On the extras side of things we are given a fistful of deleted scenes (nineteen to be exact), three trailers, a ten minute blooper reel and a twenty-eight picture photo gallery.

If you feel the need to get your low budget necro-freak on and you can’t seem to find ‘Nekromantik’ or - for that matter - a real dead body…go ahead and give this a go. You’ve been warned. Good luck.