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JOHNNY LEGEND'S DEADLY DOUBLES VOL. 4
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Reviewed by: JimmyO

Directed by: Bamlet Lawrence Price Jr.

Starring:
Barbara Marks
Kurt Martell
Bamlet Lawrence Price Jr.

Movie:  
star star star star
Extras:  
star star star star
Overall:  
star star star star
What's it about
Johnny Legend presents Teenage Devil Dolls and Teenage Confidential. Two Fifties flicks that show the horrors of drugs, depravity and all sorts of immoral behavior. Wanna party?
Is it good movie?
It was a hot night in July, 2007. I found myself with a DVD in one hand and a can of Coke in the other. If I had any idea the kind of flick I was about to watch, I probably would have preferred something stronger. It’s a world of heroin, marijuana, wayward women and juvenile delinquents. As I popped in Johnny Legend’s Deadly Double Features Vol. 4, I was lead down the path of no return, the long road on a route to heroin addiction, teenage parties and the come on girls and one thing I knew… I must know exactly what “come on girls“ do. But, the fact is, I had no idea of the insane Ed Wood like world which I would find myself.

My first foray into the immoral world of drugs and bad behavior started with a doll. This doll’s name was Cassandra and she was a good girl. I was faced with Teenage Devil Dolls. A girl who did well in school and played nice with others. But this time, she played nice with some kids on motorcycles… yes motorcycles. It was bad news when she found herself on the back of that rebel bike and smoked her first joint. And I soon found out, marijuana leads down that lonely road of Godlessness. At this point, I knew I only needed one thing and Coca Cola wasn’t gonna work. It was bad. I couldn’t take it anymore. The more this flick told me what bad news drugs were, the better they sounded. But nothing… I found myself completely sober without even a drop of alcohol. Even when Cassie found a loving husband, the pressure of being a housewife was getting to her. She longed to get high… and so did I.

It was total darkness at this point. I sat and watched the poodle skirts, the cheesy narration that sounded like a poor-man’s Dragnet. It was getting serious. Yes, a boy was going to court. He was a good kid, but bad parenting, and watching lame “don’t do drugs” movies in school drove him down the wrong path. It was Teenage Confidential. Prisons overrun with teenagers, parents that needed to discover God, and a DVD critic who had had enough… enough I tells ya! After two hours of black and white shoddy footage and almost no dialogue, I knew I had to get out. There was no hope for me. I needed a drink and possibly a little bit of chronic. I found that if you watch this alone. Without any kind of controlled (or uncontrolled) substance… you would only chuckle at the hilariousness of the 50’s. But if you got high, it might just be a damn masterpiece.

Of course, I don’t recommend you get high. Because then you’ll end up just like Cassie, or others who have gone down the route… you know, THE route. The one where junkies and whores and low-class, no-class rock and rollers go. And that would be wrong. After viewing, kiss your family, kiss your dog and make sure you go to church. And this, was the end of the road for me. The heat of the night had finally gotten the better of me. I stripped down to a t-shirt and boxers, and made my way to the computer to warn others. This is a movie worthy of a party and must not be taken seriously.
Video / Audio
Video: As for the video transfer, it looks cheap and feels cheap. But this full screen, black and white nostalgic flick works that way.

Audio: The Dolby Digital (really???) sounds cheap and feels cheap. But it works that way.
The Extras
For the extras, we are treated to glimpses of other cheesy 50’s flicks and some live music for the man, the myth, the hero… Johnny Legend with Johnny Legend Surprises (14:23). Groovy baby! It’s actually pretty entertaining with some fun clips from old B-movies for all you slick back rock and rollers.
Last Call
What exactly do you think you are going to get with a DVD called Johnny Legend’s Deadly Doubles Vol. 4 that includes the classic Teenage Devil Dolls and what plays out as a best of juvenile delinquent mini-features from the 40’s with Teenage Confidential? In an intro for the movie, Johnny tells us to turn up your cell phones, talk as loud as you want during the feature and make sure you leave the place looking like a pigsty. Yes, this is a DVD in need of a party, probably a party where there is tons of booze, where you can play drinking games, like “…how many times does Cassie find herself getting high…”. It’s good cheesy fun. Is it good? Hell no, not even close. But teenagers, drugs, drinking and other immoral behavior, will spice up any party. Thank you Johnny Legend… thank you for showing us how messed up our parents and grandparents might have been.
ARROW IN THE HEAD'S RATING SYSTEM
star star star star I'D BUTCHER MY FAMILY TO SEE THIS AGAIN
star star star HANG ME BUT I DUG IT A LOT
star star AN OK WAY TO KILL TWO HOURS
star JUST SLING AN ARROW IN MY HEAD AND LET ME DIE IN PEACE

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